The one that got away meaning
The one that got away meaning
The One That Got Away
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A character once had a great love in their life, but that was a long time ago. Somewhere along the way, they lost them, often without even realizing at the time what they were giving up. Now all they have left are bittersweet memories. Second Love often has an unenviable time getting them over it.
This trope can fall into three categories:
1. The Stepping Stone: Even if the love ends tragically, the vibrant, passionate romance shared by the characters and/or their heartbreaking split may help with Character Development, setting them on the path to a better, more fulfilling life. It can even help the characters in future relationships, like knowing what love and respect they are worthy of, or learning from their mistakes to make the love last.
2. The Tragic Loss: The characters never get over their One that Got Away. They can try, sure, but the loss sticks with them. For years, possibly even forever, the characters are haunted by the wonderful memories and the bitter idea of what could have been. This regret can alter their lives positively or negatively, depending on the character.
3. The Fantasy Fulfilled: After years of separation, bitter regret, and pining for each other despite being apart, the characters get a second chance to be together. They sort things out, rekindle their romance and it’s Happily Ever After. If the lost love does ever turn up this is Old Flame, or one of its subtropes, instead. Old Flame Fizzle may occur if his memories were idealized, or she changed.
Sister trope to Did Not Get the Girl, only here we never even meet the «girl» (in the present anyway; flashbacks are allowed). See also Girl Next Door Turned Superstar, when the one that got away becomes a celebrity.
If said lost love is dead and has a larger role in the story dead than alive, you’re looking at The Lost Lenore, which is a sister trope but distinct.
What Makes Someone the One That Got Away? How to Tell if You’re the One That Got Away
This article was co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.
There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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We’ve all heard the phrase “the one who got away” at some point in our life, but what does that actually mean? Maybe you think you have someone who got away, or maybe you believe that you’re the person who got away. Whatever the situation is, we’ve answered your questions about this romantic phenomena so you can learn more about it and what to do in your specific situation.
Here’s Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About “The One That Got Away”
Plus, how to finally let go and move on.
Does the phrase «the one that got away» fill you with a bittersweet longing? Did someone’s face just pop into your head? Was it your own because you have exes who refer to you as that? We all think we know what people mean when they say this, but have you ever really stopped to wonder: What is the meaning of “the one that got away,” really? Is it a real thing, or just something we heard about in a Katy Perry song years ago? Is it normal or healthy to continue carrying a torch for an ex that way?
Movies, love songs, and books can leave you wondering if the concept of «the one that got away» is actually a real thing or simply a romantic notion we’ve been told to hold on to. Is it ever really possible to let go of someone you regret ending things with? To help answer that question, experts spoke to Elite Daily to share their take on what the phrase actually means, if it’s healthy to hold on to an ex, and how to let go when you’re ready (because you can move on and start fresh). Here’s what they had to say.
Dr. Gary Brown, a Los Angeles-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily the definition of “the one that got away” is exactly as it sounds. “It means that there was someone who, in hindsight, we regret not being with because when we look [back] we feel that they may have truly been ‘the one’ for us that we might want to have known better,” he says — or worse, “[you may] even realize that they were potentially the one you might very well want to spend the rest of your life with,” he says. But now that relationship is long gone.
From bestselling author and relationship expert Susan Winter’s point of view, the concept of “the one that got away” is also rooted in “hopeful fantasy.» She tells Elite Daily, “Perhaps we knew someone socially, but for extenuating reasons, neither party was able to pursue a real relationship. Our mind happily fills in the details of a wonderful romantic future with this person. Or, we were romantically involved with an individual but a misunderstanding occurred that was never corrected. This scenario allows us to imagine a happy resolution, and subsequently, [a] happy relationship.”
Basically, you’re letting self-written fan fiction live in your head rent free — and you should at least consider channeling those fantasy narrative skills into real creative outlets, instead of letting it linger in your thoughts and potentially erode your love life.
While Dr. Brown says that holding a torch for an ex isn’t automatically unhealthy, it does have the potential to become a problem if it starts affecting your present and future relationships. “If you find yourself at a point later on in life [where you] keep on letting great potential partners slip through your hands, your judgment has been impacted in a way that you can’t recognize a good thing when you have it,” Brown says.
You certainly don’t want to end up like Taylor Swift’s Evermore narrator in the bonus track “Right Where You Left Me,” frozen forever in the restaurant where, with dust now collecting on her pinned up hair, her lover left her, as time continues to go on around her — heavy stuff. You won’t succumb to the same tragic fate, but it’s still important not to get caught up clinging onto someone who distracts you from living in the now.
“Dwelling upon ‘the one that got away’ is unhealthy if it stops us from enjoying our present day partnership, or stops us from seeking partnerships,” adds Winter.
Oh, and pro tip: Stalking the Instagram of “the one who got away” won’t make anything change. It will only stoke the fire of your own attachment and heartbreak.
Truthfully, it can sometimes be hard to recognize within yourself that you are still clinging to an ex as “the one that got away.” Even if you tell yourself and your friends that you are completely over them, deep down that might not actually be the case. The sooner you can see that you’re still holding on to them and romanticizing what could have been, the sooner you can do something about it.
One of the biggest signs that you’re not yet over an ex is that you just can’t think of being with anyone else yet. “If the idea of being with someone else is something you can’t think about, you might still have feelings,” Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef And The City, previously told Elite Daily. “The idea of them meeting someone else, no matter how soon, bothers you.”
Maybe when you’re dating, nobody compares to “the one that got away.” Even if you get along with new people you meet, you can’t keep your ex off your mind in a way that prevents you from taking it a step further with anyone new. “When you date, it seems like no one else has quite the same spark that your ex had,” breakup and dating specialist Cherlyn Chong from Steps to Happyness previously told Elite Daily. “No one else can interest you like your ex could, and you find yourself often disappointed and dejected in your search for the right person.”
You might also be holding on to things that serve as a representation of your ex. “If you can’t let go of pictures or things in your home and you talk about them as though they aren’t an ex, this might mean you can’t let go of the life that you shared and the things that were a part of this life,” Safran said. That goes for social media, too. You’re definitely still holding onto them in some sense if you’re constantly keeping tabs on their social media.
If it’s all a fantasy, then the best thing to do is to let go, right? Here’s where things get a little more complicated. In some cases, Winter thinks it’s completely fine to let that torch stay lit. “If it puts a smile on your face, then keep the indulgent memory,” she says.
Really, the only time this is a cause for concern is when it’s negatively impacting your current and future relationships. In that case, she recommends that you “make peace with the fact that this is a fantasy. The longing for a reality that never occurred is all in your head.”
“If this line of thinking stops you from enjoying the love that you have right now, analyze its basis,” Winter says. “There’s no way to know you would’ve had a happy outcome with this person. Deconstructing this fantasy is your key to mental and emotional freedom.”
I know what you’re thinking: What if they really were “the one,” but maybe the timing wasn’t right, and you could actually still have a future? Just look at Bennifer 2.0 — Jennifer Lopez reportedly saw Ben Affleck as “the one who got away,” and the two have rekindled their love a whopping 17 years later, showing that there truly is hope for all of the hopeless romantics out there. If that’s the case, Dr. Brown advises that you speak your truth.
“If you still want them in your life, you should absolutely let them know,» he says. «Even if it doesn’t work out, you don’t want to be on your deathbed, looking back on your life and regretting that you didn’t at least try to go for it. I’ve seen people live and die with that regret. You don’t really have anything to lose by letting them know.”
However, if they don’t reciprocate, then it’s time to follow Winter’s advice, release those feelings, and save the trope for juicy TV show plot lines and Olivia Rodrigo albums to come. The true takeaway here is that all those heartbroken love songs were right — “the one that got away» is real, and it’s OK to harbor those nostalgic, wistful feelings so long as it doesn’t stop you from seeking out future love.
Dr. Gary Brown, relationship expert and licensed marriage and family therapist
Susan Winter, bestselling author and relationship expert
Stef Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef And The City
Cherlyn Chong, breakup and dating specialist from Steps to Happyness
The One That Got Away
1 Did I tell you about the one that got away?
2 Н-158
3 унести ноги
4 уносить ноги
5 С-610
6 в сторону
7 К-10
8 Р-222
9 во как
10 вот как
11 сойти с рук
12 сходить с рук
13 Н-107
14 ничего себе
15 (у)бежать
16 Р-279
17 с головой
18 брать себя в руки
19 взять себя в руки
20 ГЛАГОЛ
См. также в других словарях:
The One That Got Away — «The One That Got Away» Sencillo de Katy Perry del álbum Teenage Dream Publicación 11 de noviembre de 2011 Formato CD single, airplay Género(s) Pop Duración … Wikipedia Español
The One That Got Away — «The One That Got Away» Сингл Кэти Перри из альбома Teenage Dream Вы … Википедия
The One That Got Away — Single par Katy Perry extrait de l’album Teenage Dream Sortie 11 octobre 2011 Enregistrement Conway Recording Studio, Los Angeles, Californie … Wikipédia en Français
The One That Got Away — steht für: einen Spielfilm, siehe Einer kam durch ein Lied von Katy Perry, siehe The One That Got Away (Lied) Diese Seite ist eine Begriffsklärung zur Unterscheidung mehrerer mit demselben Wort bezeichneter Be … Deutsch Wikipedia
the one that got away — the fish that got away, the friend you lost Have I told you about the one that got away? Her name was Lana … English idioms
The One That Got Away — Infobox Film name = The One That Got Away image size = 185px caption = DVD cover director = Roy Ward Baker producer = Earl St. John Julian Wintle writer = Book: Kendal Burt James Leasor Screenplay: Howard Clewes narrator = starring = Hardy Krüger … Wikipedia
The One That Got Away (song) — Infobox Single Name = The One That Got Away Artist = Natasha Bedingfield from Album = Unwritten Released = May 2006 (U.S.) Format = CD single, Vinyl single Recorded = Genre = Pop Length = 4:05 Label = Epic/Phonogenic Writer = Natasha Bedingfield … Wikipedia
The One That Got Away (Lied) — Dieser Artikel wurde auf den Seiten der Qualitätssicherung eingetragen. Bitte hilf mit, ihn zu verbessern, und beteilige dich bitte an der Diskussion! Folgendes muss noch verbessert werden: Generalüberholung nötig, vor allem muss die… … Deutsch Wikipedia
The One That Got Away (American Dad!) — Infobox American Dad! episode Title =The One That Got Away Series =American Dad! Caption = Season =4 Episode =2 Airdate =October 5, 2008 Production =3AJN16 Writer = Director = Guests = newspaper headline = roger s disguise = Jamaican Rastafarian… … Wikipedia
The One That Got Away (Touched by an Angel episode) — Infobox Television episode | Title = The One That Got Away Series = Touched by an Angel Season = 2 Episode = 12 Airdate = January 6, 1996 (CBS) Production = 209 Writer = Debbie Smith and Danna Doyle Director = Victoria Hockberg Prev = The Feather … Wikipedia
The one that got away meaning
The mate from a past relationship or friendship who, in the present reality, seems the ideal match, if it werent for some force beyond your control, [fate] or otherwise, keeping you apart.
In virtually any context, someone you meet and share a significant encounter with who holds qualities akin to the one but for circumstance sake you are separated from; always after the fact.
The person dated casually, but never seriously, who could have been more.
In [Bro] Parlance: The one girl who a guy liked but with whom he never quite connected or scored.
More broadly, any love regret More apt: A One That Got Away.
Origin: Fishing phrase.
The person that you couldve and shouldve ended up with but didnt, usually because of a series of poor choices on your end. You pine over them and wonder what couldve been all the while stalking them through mutual friends and on facebook, becoming extremely jealous over anyone that looks twice at them. You try to express your regret but they usually wont believe you unless you do some sort of grand gesture. The one that got away is someone that you will forever regret. In other words Trevor Sharod White.
A person who you were originally supposed to end up with, but due to a cause of fate or by consequences cause by you the relationship failed and as time goes by you wonder what you and that person could have been, making them the one that got away.
That guy [you you] could have had it all with but something, whether it was distance or just [bad timing], drove you apart and now your left wondering, [what if]?
The one you can’t get rid of, keeps haunting you, and thinking about him makes you cry. The one you still wish to end up with and start a future with.