This is what happens when you reply to spam email

This is what happens when you reply to spam email | James Veitch

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This is what happens when you reply to spam email | James Veitch

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A few years ago, I got one of those spam emails.
And it managed to get through my spam filter. I’m
not quite sure how, but it turned up in my inbox, and
it was from a guy called Solomon Odonkoh.

It went like this: it said, «Hello James Veitch, I have
an interesting business proposal I want to share
with you, Solomon.» Now, my hand was kind of
hovering on the delete button, right? I was looking
at my phone. I thought, I could just delete this. Or I
could do what I think we’ve all always wanted to do.

And I said, «Solomon, Your email intrigues me.» And
the game was afoot.

He said, «Dear James Veitch, We shall be shipping
Gold to you. You will earn 10% of any gold you
distributes.»

So I knew I was dealing with a professional.
I said, «How much is it worth?»

I said, «Solomon, if we’re going to do it, let’s go big.
I can handle it. How much gold do you have?»

He said, «It is not a matter of how much gold I have,
what matters is your capability of handling. We can
start with 50 kgs as trial shipment.»

I said, «50 kgs? There’s no point doing this at all
unless you’re shipping at least a metric ton.»

He said, «What do you do for a living?»

I said, «I’m a hedge fund executive bank manager.»
This isn’t the first time I’ve shipped bullion, my
friend, no no no.

Then I started to panic. I was like, «Where are you
based?» I don’t know about you, but I think if we’re
going via the postal service, it ought to be signed
for. That’s a lot of gold.»

He said, «It will not be easy to convince my
company to do larger quantity shipment.»

There’s always a moment where they try to tug your
heartstrings, and this was it for Solomon. He said, «I
will be so much happy if the deal goes well,
because I’m going to get a very good commission
as well.» And I said, «That’s amazing, What are you
going to spend your cut on?» And he said, «On
RealEstate, what about you?»

I thought about it for a long time. And I said, «One
word; Hummus. It’s going places. I was in
Sainsbury’s the other day and there were like 30
different varieties. Also you can cut up carrots, and
you can dip them. Have you ever done that,
Solomon?»

He said, «I have to go bed now.»

«Till morrow. Have sweet dream.»

I didn’t know what to say! I said, «Bonsoir my golden
nugget, bonsoir.»

Guys, you have to understand, this had been going
for, like, weeks, albeit hitherto the greatest weeks
of my life, but I had to knock it on the head. It was
getting a bit out of hand. Friends were saying,
«James, do you want to come for a drink?» I was
like, «I can’t, I’m expecting an email about some
gold.»

So I figured I had to knock it on the head. I had to
take it to a ridiculous conclusion. So I concocted a
plan. I said, «Solomon, I’m concerned about
security. When we email each other, we need to use
a code.» And he agreed.

I said, «Solomon, I spent all night coming up with
this code we need to use in all further
correspondence:

Lawyer: Gummy Bear.
Bank: Cream Egg.
Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle.
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
Documents: Jelly Beans.
Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard.»

I knew these were all words they use, right? I said,
«Please call me Kitkat in all further
correspondence.»

I didn’t hear back. I thought, I’ve gone too far. I’ve
gone too far. So I had to backpedal a little. I said,
«Solomon, Is the deal still on? KitKat.»

And that was so much fun, right, that it got me
thinking: like, what would happen if I just spent as
much time as could replying to as many scam
emails as I could? And that’s what I’ve been doing
for three years on your behalf.

Crazy stuff happens when you start replying to
scam emails. It’s really difficult, and I highly
recommend we do it. I don’t think what I’m doing is
mean. There are a lot of people who do mean
things to scammers. All I’m doing is wasting their
time. And I think any time they’re spending with me
is time they’re not spending scamming vulnerable
adults out of their savings, right?

But I’ll tell you what, though, guys, I’ll tell you what:
any day is a good day, any day is a good day if you
receive an email that begins like this:

Let that sink in. She sent me this, which is
hysterical. And this. And this looks fairly legitimate,
this is a letter of authorization. But to be honest, if
there’s nothing written on it, it’s just a shape! I said,
«Winnie, I’m really sorry to hear of this. Given that
Nelson died three months ago, I’d describe his
health condition as fairly serious.»

That’s the worst health condition you can have, not
being alive.

She said, «KINDLY COMPLY WITH MY BANKERS
INSTRUCTIONS. ONE LOVE.»

I said, «Of course. NO WOMAN, NO CRY.»

She said, «MY BANKER WILL NEED TRANSFER OF
3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE.»

I said, «no problemo.

I SHOT THE SHERIFF.»
[ (BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY) ]

This is What Happens When You Reply to Spam Email by James Veitch (Transcript)

Comedian and writer James Veitch on This is What Happens When You Reply to Spam Email at TED – Transcript

A few years ago, I got one of those spam emails. And it managed to get through my spam filter. I’m not quite sure how, but it turned up in my inbox, and it was from a guy called Solomon Odonkoh. I know.

It went like this: it said, “Hello James Veitch, I have an interesting business proposal I want to share with you, Solomon.”

Now, my hand was kind of hovering on the delete button, right? I was looking at my phone. I thought, I could just delete this. Or I could do what I think we’ve all always wanted to do.

And I said, “Solomon, Your email intrigues me.”

And the game was afoot.

He said, “Dear James Veitch, we shall be shipping Gold to you. You will earn 10% of any gold you distribute.”

So I knew I was dealing with a professional.

I said, “How much is it worth?”

I said, “Solomon, if we’re going to do it, let’s go big. I can handle it. How much gold do you have?”

He said, “It is not a matter of how much gold I have, what matters is your capability of handling. We can start with 50 kgs as trial shipment.”

I said, “50 kgs? There’s no point doing this at all unless you’re shipping at least a metric ton.”

He said, “What do you do for a living?”

I said, “I’m a hedge fund executive bank manager.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve shipped bullion, my friend, no no no.

Then I started to panic. I was like, “Where are you based?” I don’t know about you, but I think if we’re going via the postal service, it ought to be signed for. That’s a lot of gold.”

He said, “It will not be easy to convince my company to do larger quantity shipment.”

I said, “Solomon, I’m completely with you on this one. I’m putting together a visual for you to take into the board meeting. Hold tight.”

This is what I sent Solomon.

I don’t know if we have any statisticians in the house, but there’s definitely something going on.

I said, “Solomon, attached to this email you’ll find a helpful chart. I’ve had one of my assistants run the numbers. We’re ready for shipping as much gold as possible.”

There’s always a moment where they try to tug your heartstrings, and this was it for Solomon. He said, “I will be so much happy if the deal goes well, because I’m going to get a very good commission as well.”

And I said, “That’s amazing, What are you going to spend your cut on?”

And he said, “On real estate, what about you?”

I thought about it for a long time. And I said, “One word; Hummus.” It’s going places.

I was in Sainsbury’s the other day and there were like 30 different varieties. Also you can cut up carrots, and you can dip them. Have you ever done that, Solomon?

He said, “I have to go bed now.”

“Till morrow. Have sweet dream.”

I didn’t know what to say! I said, “Bonsoir my golden nugget, bonsoir.”

Guys, you have to understand, this had been going for, like, weeks, albeit hitherto the greatest weeks of my life, but I had to knock it on the head. It was getting a bit out of hand. Friends were saying, “James, do you want to come for a drink?”

I was like, “I can’t, I’m expecting an email about some gold.”

So I figured I had to knock it on the head. I had to take it to a ridiculous conclusion. So I concocted a plan. I said, “Solomon, I’m concerned about security. When we email each other, we need to use a code.” And he agreed.

I said, “Solomon, I spent all night coming up with this code we need to use in all further correspondence: Lawyer: Gummy Bear. Bank: Cream Egg. Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle. Claim: Peanut M&Ms. Documents: Jelly Beans. Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard.”

I knew these were all words they use, right? I said, “Please call me Kitkat in all further correspondence.”

I didn’t hear back. I thought, I’ve gone too far. I’ve gone too far. So I had to backpedal a little. I said, “Solomon, Is the deal still on? KitKat.”

Because you have to be consistent. Then I did get an email back from him. He said, “The business is on and I am trying to blah blah blah …”

I said, “Dude, you have to use the code!”

What followed is the greatest email I’ve ever received. I’m not joking, this is what turned up in my inbox.

This was a good day. “The business is on. I am trying to raise the balance for the Gummy Bear — so he can submit all the needed Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans to the Cream Egg, for the Peanut M&Ms process to start. Send 1,500 pounds via a Giant Gummy Lizard.”

And that was so much fun, right, that it got me thinking: like, what would happen if I just spent as much time as could replying to as many scam emails as I could? And that’s what I’ve been doing for three years on your behalf.

Crazy stuff happens when you start replying to scam emails. It’s really difficult, and I highly recommend we do it. I don’t think what I’m doing is mean. There are a lot of people who do mean things to scammers. All I’m doing is wasting their time. And I think any time they’re spending with me is time they’re not spending scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings, right?

And if you’re going to do this — and I highly recommend you do — get yourself a pseudonymous email address. Don’t use your own email address. That’s what I was doing at the start and it was a nightmare. I’d wake up in the morning and have a thousand emails about penis enlargements, only one of which was a legitimate response — to a medical question I had.

But I’ll tell you what, though, guys, I’ll tell you what: any day is a good day, any day is a good day if you receive an email that begins like this: “I am Winnie Mandela, the second wife of Nelson Mandela the former South African president.” I was like, oh! — that Winnie Mandela. I know so many.

Let that sink in. She sent me this, which is hysterical. And this. And this looks fairly legitimate, this is a letter of authorization. But to be honest, if there’s nothing written on it, it’s just a shape.

See What Happens If You Reply to a Spam Email

For experienced web users, spam emails don’t mean anything. They normally just get deleted without ever being opened, or they pile up in the «Spam» section of your inbox. But have you ever wondered what happens if you reply them? One British guy has spent his two years replying to spam mail with spectacular results.

A dozen of spam emails asks for money transfers, help with visa permits and a lot of other money-related requests. British comedian James Veitch followed these queries rather than deleting them. He then recorded the antics and posted them online, where they quickly went viral. He even took an email from «Winnie Mandela,» the late Nelson Mandela’s second wife.

Veitch also explained his memorable email from Winnie Mandela that said:

«I AM WINNIE MANDELA, THE SECOND WIFE OF NELSON MANDELA THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT. I NEED TO TRANSFER 45 MILLION DOLLARS OUT OF THE COUNTRY BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND NELSON MANDELA’S HEALTH CONDITION.»

[Image courtesy of TED/YouTube]

The only problem was that Nelson Mandela died months prior to the email. However, Veitch injected humor into his response:

«I said, «Winnie, I’m really sorry to hear of this. Given that Nelson died three months ago, I’d describe his health condition as fairly serious. That’s the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.»

While these are hilarious stories about a daily nuisance, users should still maintain an air of caution. This article from PC Mag details the information transfers that occur as soon as you hit the ‘reply’ button. According to tools they are used for, such as ZabaSearch, Spokeo, Zillow and many others, the recipient might get more information about you than you can imagine:

«At the start, Sam Spammer has nothing but your e-mail address and no guarantee that it’s valid. If you respond, Sam can parlay that guess to learn much more about you. He can get your home address, phone number, age, marital status, the value of your home, and more. The sender doesn’t have to be a spammer, of course. It could be any stranger e-mailing you for the first time. To protect your identity, don’t respond to spam or other dubious e-mail.»

These tips serve as a basic refresher course for online safety: Be cautious around strangers. It also wouldn’t hurt to remind your grandmother not to respond to those emails, even if they’re from the ghost of Nelson Mandela himself. While we can’t all have Veitch’s luck, we can certainly live through his hilarious cyber antics.

You Opened An Email (With Attachment). Here’s What Happens

Oh no! You accidentally clicked on a spam message in your inbox. You closed it quickly, but now you might wonder what happens if you open spam email? Is it unsafe to have clicked on one of the messages? Is opening an email dangerous?

There is little danger to opening a spam message as long as users do not open links or attachments. If your email app or webmail automatically loads images, some tracking can occur. Downloading attached files or clicking linked text or images opens users to threats like malware, ransomware, or phishing.

We’ve all been warned to watch out for suspicious emails. Even when we have a sound spam detection system, the occasional email will make it to our inbox and even under an accidental click.

Let’s go over what happens if you open a spam email on iPhone, or Android, webmail, or email client.. We’ll also detail ways to protect your account.

Before Spam Arrives In Your Inbox

Spammers gain a little insight even before their message reaches your inbox.

An email sent to an invalid address will be rejected and bounced back to the sender. Spammers know that your email account is valid by watching for bounces.

Unfortunately, there’s not a great way to defend against this. Fake bounce, auto-responders are ineffective.

Most users have their email address tightly linked to their actual inboxes. This means we cannot prevent a spammer from discovering your email address is valid.

Heads up: Later, we’ll go over ways to separate your email address from your actual mailbox where you manage emails.

What happens next is scary, but there’s a straightforward solution.

Immediately Upon Opening

Can spammers tell if you open an email?

Spammers can tell if you open an email when you or your email application interact with their message. When your webmail or mobile email app automatically downloads remote resources like photos or graphics, the spam sender immediately knows their content was viewed.

Most email users prefer auto-loading images, so emails look nice when they click to read messages. This is a mistake when it comes to defending against spammers.

How does this work:

A spammer designs an email with embedded images to make the message look professional. They host or store these photos or graphics on their server. When your email app, mail reader program, or webmail requests these images, the sender receives numerous data points while sending the email’s graphic elements.

The way to stop giving this type of metadata to spammers is to turn off automatic image downloading in your mobile email app, desktop email client, or webmail. Most services offer this function. Remember to avoid opening suspicious emails. When in doubt hit delete. Once you do that you close the door to possible harm.

Later on, we’ll give you quick instructions on stopping auto-loading images for some popular email apps and webmail sites. But, what happens next if you open a spam text?

The same rules also apply to opening suspicious texts. A spam text message can install malware that can collect information from your phone. Once the cybercriminals have your information, it can be sold to marketers or even identity thieves.

When You Reply or Forward Spam

Comedian James Veitch gave a hilarious Ted Talk on what happens when you reply to spam.

It’s obvious that it’s not a good idea to directly reply to spam emails despite Mr. Veitch’s sketch from above.

You confirm that you’re a willing participant in an email conversation with fraudsters in the least severe instances.

In the worst scenarios, you could inadvertently give away personal information that can compromise your online privacy or security.

For the instances when you receive an email from one of your known contacts that looks suspicious, it is best to start a new email or instant message/text your contact. Use this new, separate channel to ask if they sent an email with the suspect subject. Do not reply or attach the original spam email.

However, the worst thing you can do after opening a spam email is the most dangerous.

Opening an Attachment or Clicking a Link

Can you get a virus just by opening an email?

It is not typically possible to get a virus just by opening an email. The programming behind emails is too basic, requiring attached or remote resources to load. Users need to click a link or open an attachment from a malicious message to start an infection on their computer or smartphone device.

Some dangerous files are fairly obvious such as zip files or executables like programs or mobile apps. These should never be opened unless received from a highly trusted and confirmed sender.

Other attackers send spam containing files whose native format includes automation. For example, PDFs can contain viruses.

The fortunate problem with sending malware as an attachment is that many email systems have sophisticated detection software that scans attachments to find viruses or other malicious files.

This works against most attackers. Spammers instead entice users to click a text or image link.

Deceptive Text or Image Links

Links within emails are an invaluable tool for most legitimate situations.

Emails are size-restricted and do not have automatic or dynamic content updates. It’s often more efficient to send a user to a web page containing the most up-to-date information.

A link can be a bit of text or a clickable image. This hides the destination, which may be an internet site operated by spammers or fraudsters.

Over the years, there have been several very creative ways to fool the average email user. Many of these attacks work by exploiting users’ inattentiveness to internet addresses. These are often linking to a phishing website or a remotely-hosted piece of malware from a site posing as a valid and well-known site.

Opened a Spam Email on Android?

Here is what to do if you open a suspicious email attachment or email:

Disconnect Your Device

Disconnect your phone from the internet. This will reduce the risk of malware collecting and sending data from your phone. It will also prevent the malware from spreading to other synchronized devices or someone from accessing your phone remotely. Or you can simply enable Airplane Mode.

Perform System Scan

Run a scan of your android device with reliable antivirus software. It is a protective layer that helps keep malware off. Follow all the instructions to do a full search of your device and quarantine or remove any virus. If you don’t already have anti-malware, you can safely install one from the Google Play Store.

Change All Passwords to Avoid Further Damage

Malware is good at collecting data such as bank account numbers, credit card numbers, usernames, and passwords. So, change all passwords for shopping accounts, online banking, social media, and email. And do not use the same password for all your online accounts unless you want to make accessing your accounts a walk in the park. The smartest way to do it is to use a password manager. It allows you to safely store unique, passwords for your accounts.

Can You Get a Virus from Opening an Email in Gmail?

That said, Gmail uses a proprietary virus scanner to scan all emails. The application blocks any email that it finds a virus in or a suspicious file.

What if I Opened a Spam Email on my iPhone?

iPhone can’t get viruses. iOS viruses are only theoretical, not practical. If your iPhone says it has malware or virus, it is most likely something else.

What do you do when you open a spam email?

Turning off automatic image loading in desktop, mobile, and webmail services increases security. This results in the need to manually click a link or button in each email message to load externally hosted graphics.

This is an excellent extra step despite emails looking a little bland. It allows you to decide each time if you’re willing to risk your privacy and security.

The following are the most common email application or webmail sites and how to turn off automatic image loading.

Desktop/Laptop Email Clients

Outlook / Office 365

Mobile Email Apps

Merely opening a spam email doesn’t have the dangers it once did, especially if you’ve configured your email app or webmail as we’ve described.

If you’ve clicked into a message accidentally, simply close and mark it as spam or delete it. You’re safe as long as you’ve not clicked an attachment or link within the email.

Run your computer’s malware scan if you’ve opened a spam attachment or clicked on a text or image link that opened your browser to a website.

Become more vigilant and skeptical when reading email subject lines.

Mike is a web developer and content writer living as a digital nomad. With more than 20 years of devops experience, he brings his «programmer with people skills» approach to help explain technology to the average user. Check out his full author bio by clicking here.

Let’s dive into what email spoofing is and how it works so that by the end of this article you’ll have the knowledge on how to stop email spoofing.

A good way to exact spam email revenge is to help train spam mail filters by marking unwanted emails as junk mail.

About The Publisher

Data is the most valuable resource on earth, and I was just giving it away while leaking more of it daily. You’d think after 20 years as an IT professional I wouldn’t have made a mess of my digital life.

Hi, Hoi. Hola. My name is Mike Chu, I’m a programmer, writer, digital nomad, family guy, and on my way to being a security- and privacy-conscious digital minimalist.

Disclaimers

This site is owned and operated by Acumentation, Inc, an S-corporation headquartered in Georgia, United States. Acumentation is a participant in affiliate programs with CJ, ShareASale, Flex Offers, Skimlinks, and other sites. Acumentation is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies at no cost to readers.

This content is for educational purposes only. Opinions and statements expressed herein are those of the author. They do not reflect the views Data Overhaulers or its owner.

This is what happens when you reply to spam e-mail

Today we’re going to watch an hilarious TED Talk by James Veitch, a British writer and comedian. In this talk, he narrates a very funny story about interacting with a man who sent him spam e-mail. Of course, this format is nothing like the IELTS Listening Exam, but it is always good to practice your general listening skills through various means – listening for comprehension, listening for detail, inference, and so on.

Vocabulary

Spam (noun) – annoying, unsolicited e-mail

Inbox (noun) – the part of your e-mail account where received messages are stored

Hovering (verb) – hanging over something temporarily

Intrigues (verb) – to make someone feel very interested

Statisticians (noun) – people who analyze data and statistics

Cut (noun) – a portion of a larger whole; eg a 25% cut of a deal

Hummus (noun) – a kind of Middle Eastern food

Listening

True or False

Watch the video and answer these questions:

Fill in the Blanks

Skip to 07:11 and listen again. Try to fill in the blanks.

Crazy stuff happens when you start _____1_____ to scam emails. It’s really difficult, and I highly ____2____ we do it. I don’t think what I’m doing is mean. There are a lot of people who do mean things to _____3_____. All I’m doing is wasting their time. And I think any time they’re spending with me is time they’re not spending scamming vulnerable adults out of their _____4______, right?

And if you’re going to do this — and I highly recommend you do — get yourself a pseudonymous _______5_______. Don’t use your own email address. That’s what I was doing at the start and it was a nightmare.

Speaking

The topic of e-mails may come up in the IELTS Speaking Exam. You might be asked questions like the following:

Part One

How often do you check your e-mail?

Do you regularly check your e-mail?

Do you prefer writing by hand or typing on a computer?

Part Two

Describe an important e-mail you have received.

Describe a time when you had to send an important e-mail.

Part Three

Do you think writing emails has strengthened or weakened people’s writing skills?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of sending e-mails?

What are some problems that arise from using e-mail every day?

Answers

True or False

Fill in the Blanks

About The Author

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs and the ‘Weird Cult’ and the founder/editor of Beatdom literary journal. He lives and works in rural Cambodia and loves to travel. He has worked as an IELTS tutor since 2010, has completed both TEFL and CELTA courses, and has a certificate from Cambridge for Teaching Writing. David has worked in many different countries, and for several years designed a writing course for the University of Worcester. In 2018, he wrote the popular IELTS handbook, Grammar for IELTS Writing and he has since written two other books about IELTS. His other IELTS website is called IELTS Teaching.

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