What do you usually do when you feel lonely

Here’s What to Do When You’re Feeling Lonely, According to Experts

If you’re feeling isolated, these psychologist-approved strategies can help you feel more connected.

You could say the world is more connected than it’s ever been before. Friends, family and strangers who live miles apart can communicate instantly, thanks to the power of social media and the internet. And yet. why do so many of us still feel lonely?

Researchers claim that the U.S. is currently experiencing a «loneliness epidemic» — particularly in the midst of social isolation experienced during the prolonged COVID-19 pandemic. In fact, a 2021 study conducted by health insurer Cigna found that more than half of American adults — approximately 58% — are considered lonely by clinical standards. Furthermore, loneliness is closely linked with overall mental health: Adults with mental health issues are more than twice as likely to feel lonely and experience side effects as those with strong mental health. Doctors have also found that people who are lonely tend to have increased blood pressure, weaker immune systems and more inflammation throughout the body.

Turns out, connectedness with other people is vital for our own survival. If you’re wondering what to do when feeling lonely, here’s what therapists, doctors and researchers say are some of the best strategies to cope with loneliness:

Acknowledge and validate your feelings of loneliness.

Telling other people — or even admitting to yourself — that you’re lonely can feel scary, shameful and self-defeating. But expressing that feeling can be the beginning of releasing it.

«We tend to stigmatize loneliness in the U.S., equating it with being a loner or a loser,» says Kory Floyd, Professor of Communication and Psychology at the University of Arizona. «That stigma encourages us to avoid admitting when we’re lonely. Denying our loneliness only perpetuates it, so before we can recover, we have to be honest — at least with ourselves — about what we are experiencing.»

Recognize that you are not alone in feeling lonely.

If you’re feeling isolated, you’re sharing the experience with millions of other people. «[When I’m lonely] I remind myself just how pervasive loneliness is and I imagine being connected to ‘all of the lonely people out there.’ Sometimes I listen to «Eleanor Rigby» [by the Beatles] to hammer that point home,» says Megan Bruneau, therapist, executive coach and author of How to Be Alone (And Together). «Loneliness is a healthy emotion, revealing places we yearn for connection.»

Take stock of connections you already have.

Sometimes when we are feeling lonely, we can’t see what’s right in front of us.

«Many of us get tunnel vision when it comes to affection and intimacy, in that we ‘count’ only certain behaviors while discounting others,» says Professor Floyd. «I might notice that my friends don’t tell me they love me, or don’t ‘like’ my social media posts, but I overlook the fact that they always volunteer to help when I have a home project to do. When people expand their definitions of affection and love to include a wider range of behaviors, they often discover that they aren’t as deprived as they originally thought.»

Reflect on your feelings of loneliness.

Recognize that loneliness looks different for people at different times of their lives, and that there are those who have many relationships, but still feel like something is missing. Ask yourself what loneliness looks like for you.

«It’s important to differentiate between situational loneliness and chronic loneliness,» says Bruneau. «Most people feel lonely from time to time, especially in today’s individualistic, independence-valuing, more-single-than-ever-culture. However, if I’m feeling lonely more frequently than usual, I get curious about the shift. Has something changed in my relationships leading me to feel more disconnected? Have I been nurturing my current connections and creating opportunities for new ones that make me feel ‘seen’? Am I intentionally or accidentally isolating [myself]?»

Whether our loneliness is brief or chronic, questions like these can help direct us to the best way to cope, she suggests.

Take some time to relax and slow down.

If you’re frequently busy, running around with your to-do list or feel stressed by all the meetings at work, it might be time to hit the brakes.

«Sometimes when people’s schedules are back-to-back for too long, they start disconnecting from themselves and other people,» says Judith Orloff, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Thriving as an Empath. «They get overwhelmed from overworking and too much stimulation. So the practice [then] is just to relax and do what their body needs.»

Perhaps that relaxing for you could mean listening to music, taking a bath or just sitting with nothing to do and nowhere to be.

Reconnect with self-love and appreciation.

You can use alone time to get back in touch with yourself.

«You have to be your own best friend,» says Dr. Orloff. «I go to my sacred space and I meditate. I take a few deep breaths, relax and ask worry, fear and loneliness to lift so I can just be with myself.»

She recommends that those who are new to meditation practices can try to sit for three minutes and focus on something they find pleasing — like the ocean or dolphins — or any simple things they are grateful for. «Focusing on what you’re grateful for rather than what you don’t have shifts the negative thinking,» she says.

Spend time in nature.

Being alone and strolling through nature can be meditative, too, «mostly because we are able to notice just how much life is truly out there beyond human life and how naturally connected we are to all of it,» says Mariel Buqué, Ph.D., a licensed trauma psychologist and an adjunct assistant professor at Columbia University.

Getting your hands in the soil can have a healing affect as well. According to 2017 meta-analysis in Preventive Medicine Reports, gardening can help reduce health symptoms of anxiety and depression — which are two conditions that can be associated with loneliness. If nothing else, «the fresh air and company will re-energize you,» says Helene D’Jay, a licensed professional counselor and Clinical Director for Newport Healthcare.

Perform anonymous acts of kindness.

And recognize the kindness in others! Sometimes when you feel alone, you might feel like isolating yourself from the world, which only continues the cycle of loneliness. In that case, finding a group of friends to hang out with or dropping into a large social scene can feel like a lot. So why not consider starting small?

«Go out into the world and notice a smile from the store clerk,» says Dr. Orloff. «Hold a door for somebody or do something nice for a stranger and then you start to get the endorphins and the oxytocin going in your body. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. It’s what mothers have when they give birth. So oxytocin is important.»

If you are feeling a bit more extroverted, you might even try starting conversations.

«Get out every day and have a conversation, face-to-face, with your neighbor, a friend, your grocer, the librarian — in short, anyone whom you might meet regularly,» says Susan Pinker, psychologist and author of The Village Effect. This doesn’t have to be a close relationship. Research tells us that even weak bonds strengthen our immunity and well-being.»

Give back to your neighbors and community.

Another way to create new, meaningful relationships can be going into your immediate community to volunteer. «The key is to focus on others rather than yourself,» says Ruth Wolever, Ph.D., a professor and director of the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. «One of the best things to do for loneliness is to begin to build a better social network. Community organizations, religious groups, and social groups around shared interest provide wonderful ways to connect with others.»

Wolever, who serves as an executive board member of the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching, explains that joining a group focused on charity work rather than a common interest (like an intramural sports team or a book club) may provide an easier opportunity to socialize, as you’ll be working in tandem on the task at hand. You won’t feel «on the spot» to put yourself out there and make new connections if you’re already aligned on getting something done.

Simply getting out of the house and doing something selfless on its own is «one of the best ways» to battle feelings of isolation, Wolever says, even if you don’t walk away with a new friend immediately. You shouldn’t have too much trouble finding an organization that needs your help in your area — but if you’re looking for somewhere to start, Wolever recommends MeetUp, a social-driven community board that may clue you in to charity work in your area.

Join a club to connect with like-minded people.

Perhaps you are looking to develop more of those deep meaningful relationships. In that case, you might want to explore hobbies with other people to form bonds over common interests. «This could be a class or a committee,» Pinker says. «Any activity that puts you in a social environment on a regular basis.» Vibe with someone over your love for pottery at a local art class. Find a group of people who are just as obsessed with Game of Thrones as you are. Or maybe try something completely new, like goat yoga. You can have fun with this.

Accept all parts of yourself.

Sometimes loneliness is present even when you’re already a part of a community. This can occur, for example, when you find that you are the only one who is of a certain culture and the people around you don’t have the same upbringing or background as you. You may feel misunderstood or hesitant to share those unique parts of yourself with others. Dr. Buqué calls this «cultural homelessness.«

«It’s the feeling that you don’t have a home base in the spaces where you hold an identity and it reinforces the ideas that you don’t belong in any given space and that you have to compromise a part of yourself in order to fully fit in any given community,» she says. «So, it reinforces this idea of suppression in order to fit in and be less ‘lonely,’ even if only superficially.»

The solution? To first work on accepting all of the parts that make you, you no matter where you go, says Dr. Buqué. Then, «the more that you show up as your whole self in any space you occupy, the less you connect superficially. The less superficially you are connecting, the more you’re giving space to connect with people in a more profound and healthy way.»

Embrace personal intimacy by putting your hand over your heart.

Lack of physical connection can be the cause of loneliness. When we were babies, our bodies were trained to respond to physical touch as a form of communication and connection with our caregivers — especially when «goo goo gaga» didn’t quite cut it.

So, even if you don’t consider yourself a touchy-feely person, physical contact has always been at the center of feeling safe, secure and cared for. But know that you don’t need a lover, a friend or a massage therapist to give you a reassuring caress. Placing your hand over your heart could do it.

«Our bodies registers the care we give ourselves in a similar way that it registers the care we get from others through physical touch,» says Kristin Neff, Ph.D., associate professor at the University of Texas and author of Self-Compassion. «‘Supportive’ touch works with the person’s parasympathetic nervous system, which actually helps calm us down and reduces cortisol and releases oxytocin.»

Everyone, however, is different, Dr. Neff says. Some people prefer a hand on the stomach. Others prefer holding their face. Some love hugging themselves. If you’re by your lonesome, this could be a chance to figure out how to be your own buddy.

Express yourself through creative arts.

Sketch. Paint. Knit. Anything to get your creative juices flowing.

«Creative arts have an extraordinary capacity to elevate and transcend our negative emotional experiences through self-expression, as well as to connect us more deeply and authentically with each other,» says Jeremy Nobel, M.D., MPH, founder of the UnLonely Project.

One of Dr. Nobel’s favorite strategies is expressive writing. Jotting down thoughts and feelings you recognize others may be experiencing has a similar result as, say, going to the movies. At the theater you share a room with a group of people — perhaps strangers — who are all witnessing the same journey with you. Even if you don’t talk to anyone, you and the entire audience are connected through shared experience, Dr. Nobel explains. Mentally, the same thing happens when you write, even if you never share it with a soul. Although, sharing could be a healthy way to find connection among others.

Adopt a pet to help you feel more fulfilled.

Research out of the Pew Center suggests that most people link loneliness to strife within their own families and social circles. If you’re feeling a hole in your social life, why not fill it with a playful force that’ll be available to you around the clock? Arpit Aggarwal, M.D., a psychiatrist within the University of Missouri Health Care system, suggests that seeking out a furry friend may help you find more satisfaction in your day-to-day life. If you can manage the responsibility, rescuing or adopting a new pet (whether it be a dog, cat or even a bird) may help you feel more fulfilled in your day-to-day routine.

Reevaluate your social media usage.

While the jury is still out on whether or not the rise of social media is driving loneliness and depression, it doesn’t hurt to reevaluate the influence it has on your life.

Are you using it to make meaningful connections? Are you spending too much time on it? Is it causing you to withdraw in unhelpful ways?

«If we feel dissatisfied with our face-to-face relationships, we [often] retreat into the world of social media, which only exacerbates the problem,» says Professor Floyd of the University of Arizona. «On social media, it seems as though everyone else has better jobs, better houses, better vacations and better relationships than we do. That isn’t actually true, of course.»

If Instagram and Facebook are dragging you down, it might be time for a temporary screen detox.

Reconnect with friends and spend quality time together.

Spending time with others is vital to helping you feel more connected — so if you’re feeling isolated after losing touch with friends, make a real effort to reconnect. «Intimate relationships [like close friendships] are very important to mental health and especially to decreasing loneliness,» says Gail Saltz, M.D., Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital and How Can I Help? podcast host.

You can start by texting an old friend to ask how they’re doing — but don’t just limit your interaction to text and social media, which can often make for superficial connections. Instead, arrange for time to hang out in person in a safe-feeling space that’s casual; whether it’s for a quick coffee or a lunch date, where you can make sure that you’re spending quality time together.

«Texting in between to stay in touch can be okay, but in-person time together [during which you’re] feeling understood, sharing feelings and knowing the other person matters for creating the kind of bond that decreases loneliness,» Dr. Saltz explains.

Instead of always waiting to be asked to hang out, Dr. Saltz recommends taking action to extend those invitations yourself — and being forthright and direct in your desire to connect with the other person.

Limit your alcohol intake.

Since loneliness can often be associated with other mental health disorders, including clinical anxiety and depression, there are many lifestyle changes you could make that may alleviate the severity of your symptoms. Getting enough exercise during the week and establishing a healthy sleep routine is at the top of the list for some, but taking stock of how much you are drinking (as well as any recreational drug use) may also help you avoid feelings of isolation.

«Avoid using alcohol to manage your feelings, as this can generally make these conditions worse,» Dr. Saltz advises. Alcohol, like other drugs, can amplify feelings of psychological depression, and drinking to avoid feeling lonely can easily lead to addiction as you develop tolerance over time. «[Alcohol] may actually take the edge off one’s anxiety, but then in a couple of weeks you’ll need more to feel that same relief — and this is how addiction starts.»

While you don’t have to totally abstain from alcohol, Dr. Saltz says cutting back on how much you drink on a daily basis may actually lessen the intensity of your feelings of loneliness over a longer period of time.

Try to push yourself, and recognize when you can’t.

Understanding that you are experiencing feelings of loneliness is a step in the right direction — but can you actually act upon those feelings? Howard L. Forman, M.D., a New York City-based psychiatrist and psychotherapist, says that the motivation to actually try and feel more balanced among your peers may be a sign that you can cope in the first place. «If you sign up for a gym class or seek out meetings with friends or contacts, it’s a tip-off that you may be lonely, but you’re motivated to actually address it.»

There isn’t a clear-cut path to feeling free of being lonely, but Dr. Forman says simply trying your hand at something new may help to break through to better times ahead. «If you try enough things, likely, one of them is going to pay off at some point.» He adds that feeling lonely is often episodic and not something that should feel like a life sentence; any one of these strategies could help move the process along.

Simply trying new things when you really have no desire to do so, however, isn’t going to alleviate the situation. It’s important to take action if nothing is helping you feel better. «If loneliness becomes hopelessness, please seek out professional help. Loneliness can drive someone into serious mental health conditions that you may not be able to tackle on your own,» Dr. Forman says.

Work with a mental health professional.

Sometimes we need professional help to escape the dark thoughts keeping us in isolation.

«One of the most destructive effects of long-term loneliness is that it distorts our cognitions about ourselves,» says Professor Floyd. «We come to believe that if we are lonely, we deserve to be lonely and that no one will ever love us the way we want. Those thoughts in turn guide our actions in ways that end up keeping us lonely. Cognitive behavioral therapy is designed to bring our thoughts and behavior better in line with reality.»

With additional reporting by Hannah Jeon.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety or depression and need professional help, the American Psychological Association’s Psychologist Locator tool can help you find a licensed therapist in your area.

10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Lonely

When you’re feeling lonely, these ideas can help

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She’s also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book «13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,» and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Verywell / Josh Seong

Feeling lonely is a normal, human experience. You can feel lonely when you’re by yourself or even when you’re in a room full of people. When you don’t feel connected with anyone or you feel like no one understands you, you might feel as though you are completely alone even if you’re around friends or family.

Causes of loneliness include life changes that lead to social isolation, like moving to a new place, grieving a death, or the end of a relationship. In some cases, loneliness is linked with mental health conditions like depression. People with low self-esteem may also tend to feel lonely if they struggle to make social connections.

While everyone feels lonely at times, being alone too much can negatively affect your physical and emotional health. Studies have found that loneliness can be just as harmful for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Loneliness is also linked with cognitive decline and the risk of developing major psychiatric disorders.

Whether you occasionally feel a little lonely when you’re at home by yourself or you experience a deep sense of loneliness that never goes away, it’s important to address loneliness in a healthy way. Here are 10 things you can do right away when you feel lonely.

Acknowledge That You Feel Lonely

Don’t waste your energy fighting your feelings or trying to suppress your emotions. Everyone feels lonely sometimes.

And feeling lonely doesn’t mean you’re a loser and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’re human.

Studies have found that labeling your feelings can reduce the intensity of them. So simply putting a name to loneliness might help your brain make sense of how you’re feeling and instantly help you feel a little less lonely.

Develop a Plan

Sometimes you need to solve a problem. At other times, you need to solve how you feel about the problem.

Consider whether the best way to address your lonely feelings should involve solving the problem (by connecting with someone) or solving how you feel about the problem (taking care of your emotions).

If you are feeling lonely on a Friday night and you have friends or family members you could call, you might decide the best way to tackle the issue is to reach out to someone. You might find that talking on the phone helps. Or, you might invite someone to spend time with you.

If you reach out to people and no one responds, you might feel even lonelier. But, then you’ll know to tackle the problem from a different angle: Address how you feel about being lonely, rather than trying to connect with someone.

You might choose to engage in a healthy coping strategy that allows you to feel better. Drawing, knitting, or gardening are just a few examples of solitary activities that might help you deal with your loneliness in a healthy way.

Connect With People From Your Past

Sometimes it’s easier to connect with old friends than it is to make new ones. Perhaps you lost touch with your college roommate over the years. Or maybe you have a cousin that you just don’t talk to very often.

You might reach out and see how they’re doing. Talk about how you’ve missed being able to catch up and say that you’d like to reconnect.

You may find it’s easy to connect with former classmates, people from your old neighborhood, or previous co-workers because you already have things in common. Reminiscing about old times may help you connect again and you might find that you’re able to establish a relationship moving forward.

It’s okay to each out to people over social media or text message to start. But try to follow up by connecting over the phone, via video chat, or in person. Connecting face-to-face might help alleviate your loneliness more than messaging.

Join a Group or Club

In addition to connecting with people from your past, you might decide to connect with new people, too. Look for community activities that might be a good fit for you. From book clubs and community service projects to hiking groups and business societies, you will likely discover there are many ways to connect with people in your area.

You might check your local newspaper or try a website like Meetup to see what is going on in your community. Attend an event and make it a priority to talk to several people. You might find that attending a few different events or joining a couple of different clubs helps you meet more people.

Read a Book

Reading a book helps you get inside the head of characters or narrators. It’ll help you understand how other people think and it can help you feel more connected.

You might want to read a book you wouldn’t normally reach for sometimes, too. Whether that means checking a self-help book out from the library or it means listening to a science-fiction audiobook, books can expand your world and help you feel a little less lonely.

Find an Online Forum

One of the many wonderful things about the internet is that you can connect with people from all over the world. You can find people with similar interests, problems, and goals with a few clicks of a button.

You might look for forums where people discuss topics that you’re interested in—from rare collections to unsolved mysteries to movies or TV shows. You might find that talking to other people about things you feel passionate about or topics you enjoy helps you feel more connected—even if you’ve never met them in person.

Learn Something New

Getting excited about something you’re learning—whether it’s a new language or a new skill—might help you feel better. It also might open up doors to meet new people.

Sign up for a cooking class or take karate. Or look for an online course you can take. Websites like Udemy offer affordable courses in subjects ranging from fitness to graphic design.

Engage in a Hobby

Creative outlets can boost your mood and help you live in the moment. That means fewer catastrophic thoughts about “being alone forever” and less dwelling on negative incidents from the past such as, “I can’t believe she said that to me.”

If you don’t have any hobbies, make it a priority to find one. Experiment with different activities, from fishing to pottery, until you discover things that you love.

Perform an Act of Kindness

Doing something nice for other people can help you feel better. It may also help you feel more connected to the community.

Whether you get involved in an official community fundraiser or do a kind deed for a neighbor, there are many acts of kindness you could perform. If you’re struggling to find something you can do, you might contact local charities, hospitals, nursing homes, or animal shelters to see how you could volunteer or offer assistance.

Get Professional Help

If you’re struggling with loneliness and you don’t know what to do, you might want to seek professional help.

Talking to a mental health professional might help you make more meaningful connections with people and it may also help you discover strategies for coping with loneliness in a healthy way.

In addition, a therapist can help you uncover any underlying causes of your loneliness—for instance if you are feeling lonely in a relationship or marriage, feeling lonely after a breakup, or if you are feeling lonely and depressed at the same time.

If depression is contributing to your loneliness, a mental health professional can suggest treatment routes such as attending cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to reframe negative thoughts and, in some cases, taking a medication—such as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)—that helps treat your symptoms.

It’s also important to reach out for professional help if you’ve been dealing with your loneliness in an unhealthy way. Drinking too much, turning to food for comfort, or engaging in other unhealthy behaviors can increase your loneliness in the long-term.

Loneliness can affect the brain as well, leading to higher risks of cognitive decline, dementia, and major psychiatric disorders. So it’s not only important to validate your feelings by seeking treatment, but also to prevent any potential negative effects of loneliness down the road.

Being alone too much is also linked with an increased risk of suicide. If you are experiencing suicidal ideation or behavior, it’s important to seek help right away from a mental health professional.

If you or someone you care about is having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

A Word From Verywell

It isn’t unusual to feel lonely from time to time, but people may be experiencing such feelings more frequently now due to increased remote working and decreased face-to-face time.

Whether you cope with the occasional bout of loneliness or a chronic sense of isolation, know that you aren’t alone in feeling lonely (even though it feels that way). Exploring different ways to cope and reaching out for professional assistance can help you feel more connected.

Erzen E, Çikrikci Ö. The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis. Int J Soc Psychiatry. 2018;64(5):427-435. doi:10.1177/0020764018776349

Tiwari SC. Loneliness: A disease?. Indian J Psychiatry. 2013;55(4):320-322. doi:10.4103/0019-5545.120536

Spreng RN, Dimas E, Mwilambwe-Tshilobo L. et al. The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation. Nat Commun 2020;11:6393. doi:10.1038/s41467-020-20039-w

Vasile C. CBT and medication in depression (review). Exp Ther Med. 2020;20(4):3513-3516. doi:10.3892/etm.2020.9014

What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely, Lost And Depressed

Everyone gets lonely sometimes, but it’s hard to cope when feelings of worthlessness and loneliness persist.

You may begin to lose hope for the future and find it hard to enjoy any aspect of life. Perhaps you’ve tried and failed to find solutions, and you worry that you’ll continue to feel this sad forever.

This is a horrible position to be in, but the good news is that it is resolvable.

Overcoming loneliness requires thought and effort, but it is certainly possible.

Whether you consistently feel depressed, you’re trying to overcome the loneliness of being single or you don’t quite know why you feel lost at the moment, there are things you can do to improve the situation.

This guide could help you understand yourself better and support you in figuring out what to do when you feel lonely.

Symptoms Of Loneliness And Depression

To learn how to stop feeling lonely and depressed, you first need a good grasp of the nature of loneliness.

This knowledge can ultimately help you figure out what is making you sad and how to address it.

Going through the following list can function as a kind of “loneliness test.”

You’re still exhausted when you wake up.

… no matter how much you sleep. Research suggests that if you’re lonely, you’re more likely to suffer from fragmented sleep.

This means you wake up more often during the night and don’t get enough deep rest.

(TIP: These tips may help you wake up happier and energized in the morning)

Your immune system doesn’t seem to be working well.

You catch every virus going, and it’s harder for you to recover from them.

This is a response to physical changes caused by the way your stress levels increase when you’re lonely.

You’re tempted to self-medicate.

This may be with food, drugs, alcohol, shopping, or anything else that distracts you from feeling low.

One massive study on loneliness showed you’re likely to try and fill the void when you’re lonely, hoping that this one little bit of happiness will make up for the sadness you feel.

Little things get you down.

Sources of frustration, irritation, and sadness that once felt tolerable to you are now making you feel dreadful.

This is one of the most common symptoms of loneliness and is an indication that your levels of resilience are low.

Your friends complain about being lonely.

You might find this surprising, but the latest science shows that loneliness can be socially contagious.

One factor might be that if you and your friends are feeling lonely, you’re obviously not connecting with each other that well.

You have general symptoms of depression.

Depression isn’t always linked to loneliness symptoms.

However, when it is, you may notice that you care less about personal maintenance, feel worthless, can’t concentrate, struggle with anxiety, and/or no longer feel excited by previous passions.

Why Do I Feel Lonely? The Causes Of Loneliness

There are many reasons you might be feeling lost and lonely. There’s no one answer to the question of what causes loneliness.

However, if you’re asking yourself “Why do I feel lonely?”, it might help you to understand some of the evolutionary and biological reasons why you’re having this unpleasant experience.

There are proven connections between your feelings of social isolation and everything from reduced heart health to decreased resistance to disease, so there’s an increasing amount of research on the origins of loneliness.

As it turns out, genetic data indicates you can inherit loneliness from a parent.

The inheritance rate is estimated at just under 50%. So, if you have a lonely parent, some of your emotional turmoil might have more to do with biology than context.

However, don’t underestimate the significant role that nurture plays in your loneliness. Studies also show that even if you’re genetically identical to another person, you’ll feel lonelier if you have less social support.

There are two key points for you to take away here:

4 Reasons You Feel Lonely Even Though You Have Friends

If you have friends, you might feel perplexed by your own loneliness.

However, here are four reasons why you might feel lost and alone in spite of your friends.

How To Stop Feeling Lonely And Overcome Depression (Steps To Take Right Now)

No matter why you feel lonely, it is possible to feel better. But what should you do, right now, to overcome depression? While you can’t miraculously fix every problem in your life overnight, you can learn to feel better today.

Then, you can build on that foundation, gradually creating an everyday reality that actually feels good and right, not inauthentic and sad.

Here are some of the best ways to cope with loneliness and find a new sense of happiness.

Step 1: Accept It As A Feeling

Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that loneliness is forever. You might feel lonely today, this week, or even this month, but it doesn’t mean you are alone or that you have no one who cares for you.

Like all feelings, loneliness is impermanent and it does not define who you are.

Accept that you feel lonely, then focus on moving forward.

Step 2: Maintain And Enhance Relationships

If there are people in your life that you wish you were closer to, take steps to make that happen. Suggest plans, make contact, and stick to the arrangements you make.

This applies just as much to family members and friends of many years as it does to new people in your life. Do you know someone you’d like to has a friend? Be brave enough to reach out. Often, they’ll be very glad you did.

Step 3: Disconnect From Social Media

As noted above, social media breeds loneliness by giving you false perceptions. Instead of scrolling through images of everyone’s best selves and happiest times, take a step back from your online life for a while.

Choose to only look at social networks once a day, or perhaps not at all for a month.

See if this makes any difference to your loneliness, and ask yourself what you can learn from this.

Step 4: Refocus Your Attention

If you think about sadness and loneliness all the time, you will be sadder and lonelier. Do things that gently nudge your perspective towards the positive.

A gratitude journal is a great example. You can write in it every morning, setting you up for a more optimistic day ahead. Simply write down 5 things that make you feel grateful each day.

This process challenges you to find and foster the good in your life.

Step 5: Learn To Enjoy Your Own Company

Sometimes, you might trick yourself into feeling lonely because you’ve internalized the message that you can only be happy if you’re with others. This isn’t true… there’s a lot of worth to enjoying your own company.

Experiment with ways of having a good time alone. Take a walk in nature (studies show this boosts mood and self-esteem), create something, exercise, plan a day trip or treat yourself to your favorite meal. You may be surprised by how much better you feel.

Step 6: Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Finally, some of the best ways to combat loneliness involve deliberately trying brand new things.

Whether you join a book group, learn a new skill at a class or go to a club dedicated to one of your major passions, you’re opening yourself up to the chance of new social connections.

What do you have to lose?

At worst, you’ll grow as a person and have new experiences under your belt.

Feeling Lonely In A Marriage? How To Deal With Loneliness In A Relationship

You might expect to find yourself feeling lonely after a breakup, but what about when you’re still with someone?

Feeling alone or feeling lonely in a relationship is more common than you’d think.

Over time, people can drift apart or take each other for granted, and you might feel like your spouse just doesn’t “get you” anymore.

Here are four tips on how to deal with loneliness in a relationship:

Powerful Daily Affirmations For Enjoying Your Own Company And Combatting Loneliness

Finally, if you’re feeling lonely or lost, try affirmations for loneliness:

Feeling Lonely? Overcome Loneliness Today Using The Law Of Attraction

On one final note: It’s important to take every opportunity you can to help yourself get closer to ultimate self-love and acceptance.

As mentioned above, affirmations are a useful addition to any kind of daily routine to boost mood and self-confidence.

You should also consider similar resources and exercises… Claim your Law Of Attraction tool kit and learn how to manifest your dream life effectively, including stopping feeling lonely, boosting your self-esteem, and finding your own path.

The Law Of Attraction toolkit includes:

What to do When You Feel Lonely?

Sadhguru looks at how whether it is anger, joy or love, if we can keep it steady and on, it can be a means to realization.

Q: When I am truly joyful and clear, there is an exuberance inside; it is like I am melting. But people around me are pulling me down, even though I try not to let them. And if I keep to myself, I feel lonely. What should I do?

If your exuberance is manufactured, then you need company. If you are exuberant by your own nature, if life has become exuberant, activity is just a consequence. If your life is not exuberant, and you are trying to crank it up with activity, then activity is the means.

This is the big difference. Either you dance and arrive at a certain state of exuberance, or because you are exuberant and you cannot contain it, you dance. These are two different things. Either because you are happy you burst out into laughter, or someone told you, “Every day in the morning if you laugh and laugh, one day you will become happy.” These are two different ways. Look at everything around you; tell me, which way does life work?

Is it because there are flowers that the plant and root came up like a support to the flower? No. Because the exuberance in the stem could not be contained, it flowered. This is the way life should happen. If you try to live the other way, it is going to be a very hard life.

Constantly putting yourself out into the world like you are joyful, when you are actually not, is the hardest life in the world. When you are not happy, to show everyone that you are happy, it costs a phenomenal amount of life. Have you noticed this? There are some people who, when they are happy, they are happy; when they are not happy, they are not happy. They just show it to everyone, the whole world knows their act of life. Some people manage to pretend all the time, but it takes a phenomenal amount of energy to keep it up like that. People end up with lumps and tumors in their body constantly trying to put on an act. If you make your mind in a certain way, you will do that to yourself.

The only saving grace for people is they never do anything steadily. Their joy is off and on, their misery is off and on. It is never fully on. If you become utterly miserable, you will see the consequence of it. If you become utterly joyful, you will see the consequence of it. If you become utterly angry, you will see the consequence of it. You do not see the consequence of anything because you are always off and on.

People ask me, “Sadhguru, what kind of attitude and emotion should I have?” I say, “Any damn thing is okay.” If you want to be angry, be angry for 24 hours, non-stop; you will get enlightened. If you like love, be loving 24 hours. You will get enlightened. Just keep it on, and you will come to a certain realization. That is all it takes.

Everything – every cell, every atom – in the existence can be a doorway to the beyond if you go steadily at it. The problem is, people keep shifting. This is happening in the world today like never before. People think it is a virtue that their attention spans are very short. If you keep shifting, nothing happens. Go wherever you want to go, but steadily.

Why Do I Always Feel Sad & Lonely?

Feelings of loneliness can come and go as everyone experiences loneliness at different points in their lives and this isn’t unusual in any way. However, some people have it more difficult where they feel lonely and sad all the time and feel unable to connect with others. If you’ve been going through some issues in your life and you’re feeling like your loneliness never truly goes away, this may be a sign you need to address this issue. Consulting with your doctor can be a beneficial first step. Keep reading to learn more about feeling lonely and sad.

Lack of Social Contact

A lack of social activity can cause a person to start feeling lonely and sad, in a kind of isolation. If you’re struggling with feeling lonely, then it’s plausible that it could be because you’re just in need of some social contact and meaningful relationships. Some people don’t have a lot of friends or people they feel care due to moving to a new area, they might not be good at meeting new people to connect with, or their focus is on other aspects of their life. Research has shown that humans are social creatures and it’s natural to crave social contact if you haven’t been able to connect in quite some time. In modern times, we may have a plethora of information at our finger tips, but it’s easy to live your life without seeing anyone face-to-face. This can create social dilemmas for people and this is especially true for those who work from home and aren’t married. This can lead individuals to feel helpless when it comes to making connections, leading one to feel ashamed, hopeless, empty, and potentially grief-stricken.

It might be possible to turn things around and eliminate this pain if you’re able to initiate social contact and connect with others. Your sadness could just be a natural response to not spending time with others. It’s normal to feel lonely if you’re spending most of your time alone, even if you think you are content alone or don’t mind it. It might not be quite as normal if you’re feeling lonely despite having others around you. In this case, you might need to try to develop skills through therapy to be able to enjoy more meaningful social interactions so you aren’t suffering in silence. It’s important to have a support system in place and everyone should have a small circle of friends that they can count on no matter what when they feel the signs of sadness or loneliness creeping in.

Something Bad Happened

Many people start feeling sad and lonely after something bad happened in their lives. For example, you might be struggling or feeling depressed because someone that you love, such as a family member, might have passed away recently. You could have even just lost a pet to a health issue. These situations are going to have an impact on you emotionally and you need to be able to process them. If you don’t take the time to grieve or deal with your emotions, then it’s not going to be easy to stop feeling lonely, sad or depressed. Reaching out to others for help might be the best way to respond so you can get emotional support for your misery and despair after a difficult loss.

Going through a tough time in life can make you feel lonely and sad, especially if you are afraid to reach out to others or get irritable or anxious when others reach out to you. This is true whether you’ve experienced a loss and it can also occur when you’re having a stressful time at work or struggling with health issues. Living with stress isn’t always simple and sometimes it can affect your mood or even make you feel a bit depressed. If this seems to be how you feel all the time, then maybe you haven’t been finding effective stress management techniques for a long time. There are many potential reasons why someone might feel this way and it’s good to acknowledge things while being open to getting help.

A Friend or Family Member Moved Away

People feel lonely or depressed when others that they’re close to and spend time with regularly move away as well. This happens when parents see their children off to college and even if you’re not a parent, it’s going to happen when your friend or family member moves to take a job in another state. Major life events such as this can cause someone to feel sad and lonely more often than usual. If you’re feeling sad and lonely more often than you usually do because of a long distance or fading relationship, then you probably need to address the issue and seek help and support even if you are feeling empty or tired of trying. Mental health is important and knowing the exact cause of your sadness isn’t always as important as recognizing that you need assistance. Getting help for this type of depression can mean the difference between getting things back on track and continuing to have the depression or worthless feelings worsen.

Arguments with Friends or Family

Arguments with friends or family could make you feel lonely and sad, and maybe even a little guilty. Did you have a fight with a friend or family member at some point in the past? Perhaps this created a rift that you haven’t been able to mend since the fight occurred. If you don’t have a lot of friends, then this one argument could wind up being very significant to you and your mental health. Not having your friend to talk to could be contributing to your loneliness and feeling sad or depressed would be natural. It’s possible that you could try to fix things and improve your relationship with this individual.

You might be surprised by how often stubbornness will prevent two old friends from making up after an argument. Even best friends will have issues with each other sometimes and it isn’t healthy to not be able to disagree. If an argument with a friend has put you in a position where you’re feeling sad and lonely, then don’t hesitate to reach out. There’s a chance that your friend feels similarly bad and that making up would be a good thing for both of you.

Romance Problems

Romance problems can lead to loneliness and sadness just as much as any of the other things mentioned so far. In fact, you might feel lonely right now because your life doesn’t have as much romance as you’d like. You could have many supportive friends and loving family members and still feel lonely. This can be brought on from a type of depression that stems from a lack of romance. Longing for a romantic connection with someone special is completely normal and not being able to find romantic or even social connections is hard on your mental health.

There are times when people will feel a constant sense of sadness or loneliness after breaking up with someone. You might have experienced love in the past and lost it due to certain circumstances. You haven’t been able to move on since then and this is making you feel lonely and sad all the time. A depression like this is tough to cope with when you don’t know how to approach it. This is why it’s so necessary to get professional help and support when you’re experiencing depression and other mental health issues.

Understanding Depression and How It Affects Your Health

If you’re feeling lonely and sad most of the time, this is a sign you are likely facing some type of depression. As mentioned above, people normally feel a moment of sadness from time to time and they might feel lonely at different times, too. However, these feelings pass eventually and they usually don’t stick around for too long, or at least substantially long enough to substantially affect your physical health and mental health. The difference between a depressed person and someone who isn’t facing depression is that the feelings don’t always just go away. Someone who is dealing with depression might feel a sense of sadness just beneath the surface at all times. Depression is different for everyone and your experience might differ. It’s just important to know that depression can be a sign of a serious issue and that you don’t have to face it alone.

Many people who are going through depression will feel lonely even if they have other people around them. Depression sort of clouds your vision and it makes you feel sad even when there isn’t a reason to. It can be frustrating because you might want to accomplish certain things but will feel like you and your brain are being held back by depression. This is why you should take the time to speak to a doctor about your experiences. The doctor will be able to determine what type of depression you’re faced with and you can then look into treatment options.

There are various professional treatment options that can help and support you to cope with depression, improve your overall health, regulate your emotions, and forge more meaningful connections through interesting activities. Loneliness and depression might be helped by taking certain antidepressant medications as part of your treatment. Other treatment options include going to therapy and attending support groups. While users may believe in self-medicating through THC and cannabinoids that can be found in marijuana or cannabis products, it is important to check with your doctor before self-medicating- even if the products are legal in certain states, such as hemp plant-based products or CBD. You can decide which treatment option is going to work best for you with the guidance of your doctor. It’ll be possible to alleviate depression symptoms when you work together in your treatment as your doctor can work with you to see how a certain product one may use or a treatment’s side effects can interact with your body. If you know that this sadness and loneliness is not something that you can cope with alone, then please don’t wait to talk to your doctor about what can be done as they have information that can help you.

Therapy is Useful

Therapy is a treatment filled with benefits for both children and adults when you are trying to cope with depression or improve your mood. Feeling lonely is something that you can get through with the help and support of a skilled therapist who has conducted research on the topic and can find you an effective treatment. You can learn about depression through content they provide and will be able to start to process your thoughts and feelings in manageable amounts. Feeling lonely is natural sometimes, but there might be times where your depression is making you feel lonely artificially. A therapist can teach you coping mechanisms in treatment to help you feel happy and they will also give you someone that you can reach out to whenever you feel lonely or vulnerable.

If you are in the market of wanting to get to feeling better, then therapy is going to be a perfect solution. You can even look into online therapy if you’d like to seek help or treatment without leaving the house and even explore the possibility of talking with a therapist through video chat or text message. This can be especially convenient for parents with busy family lives and others with busy lifestyles. For some people who are dealing with loneliness and sadness, it’s the most convenient way to get assistance. It’s an affordable therapy option that has been able to help many people in similar situations. Both traditional therapy and online therapy are great treatment options that you know you can count on whenever you’re ready to seek treatment.