You get what you expect
You get what you expect
You Get What You Expect
You Get What You Expect
People adjust their behavior based on the way they see the world. Here are 11 ways that you get what you expect:
If you believe today’s going to be awesome, you’re going to be happier and more productive than if you fear problems lurking around every corner.
If you believe people are trustworthy, you’re going to manage relationships differently than if you think everyone’s out to get you.
If you believe you can overcome any challenge, you’re going to view obstacles differently than if you feel you’re doomed from the start.
If you believe you’re going to be successful, you’re going to view your prospects differently than if you think, “People like me never stand a chance.”
If you believe relationships should be win-win, you’re going to build partnerships differently than if you think everyone’s out to get the upper hand.
If you believe good people finish first, you’re going to behave differently than if you think you have to be ruthless to win.
If you believe feedback is critical to personal growth, you’re going to receive it differently than if you think feedback means you did something wrong.
If you believe every successful person encounters failure, you’re going to view mistakes differently than if you think failing makes you a failure.
If you believe hard work pays off, you’re going to view tough days differently than if you believe your company’s trying to take advantage of you.
If you believe people generally try their best, you’re going to manage people differently than if you think people are generally lazy.
If you believe life has its ups and downs, you’re going to view bad days differently than if you think you’re the only one with problems.
When you believe that something’s possible and you set your sights firmly on the prize, you’ve taken the first big step in making it a reality. When every part of you believes that the outcome will be positive, something magical happens. You get what you expect.
What Are Your Expectations?
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You Get What You Expect
We all want more out of life, we want to be happy and do something meaningful. How do you define meaning in your life? How do you define being happy? Do you expect the best in your life or are you simply playing the hand that life dealt you?
Finding Happiness Through Personal Development
A friend of mine, Samantha recently left a job that she had been “stuck with” for several years. It was a well-paying job with little stress and she worked with great people but she was not happy. She couldn’t understand why. The first couple of years at this job had been the best of her life. She had grown and learned so many things in those first years. She felt needed as if she were making a contribution to the company.
Samantha was happy during that period in which she was learning and growing, think of a time that you were truly excited about something and how that made you feel. People change and grow. The most difficult task is to understand when you’ve outgrown a job, another person, a town…
Inner Doubts and Self-opposition Broadcast onto the World Around You
After a while Samantha’s job became monotonous. She felt as if she contributed nothing new and felt unimportant to the organization. This was reflected in her “optional” invitations to meetings and irritatingly silent phone. In fact, once she decided to leave, her job was eliminated. Years of work eliminated just like that. She was not at all surprised by this. In her eyes the job was meaningless, this only solidified the fact. She felt like a fraud collecting a paycheck for work that just wasn’t necessary.
Samantha was not inspired by the work she was doing and that fact broadcast like a beacon to her co-workers and her boss. Have you ever been around someone that was in a place they didn’t want to be? What was your interaction with that person like? A person that is not happy but does not expect any more of themselves or their life is truly stuck.
What is the Source of Your Self-worth?
On the last day Samantha’s employees threw her a party. They gave her gifts and flowers to show their appreciation for everything she had done for them. The day was very emotional for her and for a lot of here employees as well. I remember her wondering, “Why do they appreciate me so much, I’m not doing anything special”? She also mentioned that her boss didn’t attend this party nor did the administrative staff or the other managers but it was a good way to say goodbye. She had a very good relationship with her employees and several months later still keeps in contact with some of the supervisors.
I found it interesting that Samantha overlooked all the good she had done and the people that she had positively impacted because she was so focused on the opinion of her colleagues. An opinion in which she herself helped to sculpt through her self-opposition and inner doubt.
Recognizing and Celebrating Your Worth
Samantha learned recently that her old position was reinstated as it was an “overwhelming load” for the other managers to take on. I won’t go into details about how overwhelming but, it gave me a sense that she made her job look easy. The news gave her a sense of closure and relief that she did not spend these years in vein. It took all of this for her to realize that the job wasn’t the problem, the problem was her. She was overqualified for a job but accepted it because it was convenient, at the cost of her happiness. Her passive acceptance of the status quo caused her unhappiness…not the job itself.
This is an example of how low expectations subconsciously keep you from growing and becoming the best you can be. You may want more out of life, love, your career but unless you expect it…you won’t get it. Lack of higher expectation kept Samantha from being everything she could be. Unfortunately, in her case her boss and colleagues were not very supportive of her talents. She became indoctrinated over time with internal and external messages that imposed limitations and diminished her expectations of herself.
Don’t let this happen to you, success in anything you do is defined by your personal expectations of yourself and the people around you. Expect more from yourself, challenge demeaning and patronizing attitudes, including your own. If you give in to these attitudes you will lower your expectations. The lower your expectations, the less you will achieve and you will accept far less than you deserve.
You Get What You EXPECT With the LOA, NOT What You Want!
You Get What You EXPECT With the LOA, NOT What You Want!
Many people give up on theLaw of Attraction because they believe it operates differently than it really does. It’s important to remember that with the Law of Attraction, you don’t necessarily get what you want. Instead, you get what you expect.
This is why many people react in disbelief when they are first told about the Law of Attraction. It can be challenging to reconcile the idea that you can have anything you want. If you can create anything that you want in life, they say, then why is it impossible for people to do certain things? For example, why can’t you fly or move things telepathically with your mind?
Well, the truth is, it isn’t impossible. Indeed, anything is possible, even the most far-reaching, implausible and half-baked ideas can potentially manifest in our realities.
So yes, you could grow younger rather than older, win the lottery and own a farm of pigs that fly. It is possible, because with the Law of Attraction all things are possible.
In fact, science teaches us that indeed there are no facts, and that you can only disprove a theory, but never prove one. This is why scientific theories are ever-changing and ever-improving; reality and existence are ever-changing and ever-improving. Our understanding of reality is constantly evolving, and things we believe to be impossible today may very well be possible in the future.
To conceptualize this idea, think of life today from the perspective of a person living in the middle ages. Do you think a peasant from medieval times could even fathom driving his own car, receiving vacation pay and meeting women to date online? Probably not, yet as it turns out, these things are 100% a part of our current reality.
So then, if everything is possible, why do some things seem so very impossible?
The answer? Because we expect them to be impossible.
Again, with the Law of Attraction, you don’t necessarily get what you want, instead you get what you expect. This is a confusing factor for many people; they ask for what they want and they visualize what they want, but without the expectation the dream fails to manifest. Then, they often give up on the Law of Attraction, even though the Law of Attraction is working precisely and predictably the way it should.
So, no matter how far-fetched or how believable your dream is, if it isn’t manifesting in your reality, it can mean only one thing: you don’t expect it to manifest, period.
Why haven’t you found your soul mate? You get what you expect and you don’t expect to find him or her.
Why don’t you have your dream job? You get what you expect and you don’t expect to have it.
Seriously-think about it! For everything that you want that hasn’t yet materialize, I guarantee that you simply don’t expect that you will have it.
Ok then, you say, what are we to do when we don’t expect our dreams to manifest? How do we come to expect the impossible?
Well fortunately, expectations are adjustable and we change our expectations all of the time. If you have an expectation that isn’t working for you, know that you can change it.
In fact, truth be told, you have adjusted your expectations countless times in your life!
I guarantee that you have achieved many things that at one time seemed impossible. I know for a fact you have lived to see many things you never expected to see at one point.
How do I know this? Well, that’s just the nature of living. We were born to expand and adjust our expectations; that’s what this journey of life is all about.
So if you are struggling to cultivate expectation in your dream, take heart because developing expectation is something you’ve done subconsciously many times and it’s something you are very skilled at. Further, if you’d like to consciously adjust your expectations about a given dream, know that there are things you can do!
One suggestion is to start small and practice by gently adjusting your expectations daily. This is a low pressure, fun way to work with the Law of Attraction and see your intentions manifesting consistently.
Instead of trying to manifest the soul mate relationship right now, start by asking the universe to simply see more attractive people each day. Instead of trying to manifest the jackpot winnings right this minute, ask to manifest a reality where you find a few quarters on the ground. Instead of trying to manifest the dream job, ask to manifest a good day at work.
When you become good at manifesting your initial requests, move a bit further. Ask the universe to manifest a conversation with someone attractive. Ask the universe to help you find a couple of dollars. As the universe for some recognition at work.
Build slowly, and keep adjusting your practice outward. Start where you believe, and gently reach for more. This is one way to build momentum with the Law of Attraction and change your expectations about what you can manifest.
Of course, if you’d like some assistance in adjusting your expectations, I’m available for one-on-one Law of Attraction mentoring and I also administer a membership website you are more than welcome to join.
Law of Attraction Educator
Are you a student of the Law of Attraction?
You Get What You Expect
Not what you want
W ould you like to win the lottery? Yes, me too. Who wouldn’t after all?! Would you buy a lottery ticket then? Yeah, I thought so. Me neither. And we both wouldn’t buy it because we do not expect to win. Of course, in this particular example, it is logical not to buy it because the statistical chances of you winning the lottery are simply too slim. So we keep dreaming of getting rich over night with the lottery but we never go out there and buy it. Fine in this case.
But, somehow, it seems that we apply this thinking pattern to so many aspects of our lives — daily life, personal development, career, and even relationships. We want our job to be better but we don’t even consider talking to our boss about how her behaviour makes us feel miserable because we don’t expect her to listen to and consider our concerns in the first place. We want our partner to be more caring but we expect him to continue being cold and distant and so we swipe many of his goodwill gestures under the rug and cross our arms in anticipation of him turning cold. And so the relationship goes until it leads to a fight. We do this to ourselves too. We want to stop being angry and reactive, but we don’t seem to have the strength to give up this bad habit because we expect ourselves to keep failing and we say so to ourselves in self-talk — “I am simply not good enough”, “it’s just the way I am” or “I’ve always been this way”. Ditto for career development, friendships, addictions, time management, and so many other things. With time, our expectations start to dictate our actions, and our actions lead to these results. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a self-reinforcing one for that matter.
It’s simple. You cannot want the best but keep expecting the worst. The two don’t coexist. Period. That’s why Henry Ford was right to say:
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.
Where do we get such negative expectations from? The way I see it, they come in one way or the other from our past. If you have been in many bad relationships, it’s not unlikely that you have at least some kind of expectation that the next one won’t be that much better. If you have been in industry for years, it’s not unimaginable to see how the many irritating bosses and lousy colleagues you have come across have shaped your negative views. If you’ve suffered some addictions — overeating, alcohol, pornography… — it’s possible to see how you may start doubting your ability to resist temptations and would expect further relapses… But here’s the thing: our minds are like an empty white paper sheet that gets filled over time. The rule to this sheet is that it has to be filled by something everyday. And it doesn’t matter whether you are the curator of that something or not. If you don’t fill your own sheet with the thing you want written on it, someone else will write on it what they want, not what you want. This someone else isn’t always a specific person; it can be society in general, a peer group, your parents, the media, or even abstract concepts like nihilism and pessimism. That writing, eventually becomes your past, and that past becomes your de facto tool for predicting the future. And if we predict something, we will, obviously, act accordingly. And downward goes the spiral at an ever accelerating pace. It’s simply how our brains work.
If we don’t deliberately set our own expectations, someone else WILL set them for us. And you’re probably not gonna like it
Okay, now pause. Take a deep breath. And exhale.
There are good news! Our past might suck, but we are not determined by it. We can decide right now to break free from it. We can decide right now to stop letting the past determine what we expect of our future. Think of the past as a stimulus and of our expectation of the future as a response to that. Between that stimulus and our response to it, there’s a gap. In that gap, lies our ultimate freedom, a freedom that is innate to all humans and that no circumstances or person can strip a way from you: your freedom to choose. That’s the essence of the word responsible.. response-able. And that’s the essence of Viktor Frankl’s and Stephen Covey’s teachings. You can start being aware of your past conditioning and decide to choose your own attitude towards the future. Of course, this goes without saying that all this talk is useless if we don’t act. Once you’ve got your mindset right, action is everything. You may not always get it right, but the probability of attaining the future you want increases a lot. After all, trying doesn’t guarantee success, but not trying does guarantee failure.
So how do you change your expectations now to match with what you want? Close your eyes for a minute and imagine an upcoming event you have — a big presentation, a tough conversation, a family reunion… whatever. Now answer these three questions honestly:
1. How is what I am expecting making me feel?
Is it making you feel something positive? If yes, that’s great. You can stop the exercise right now. If instead it is making you feel anxious, afraid or overwhelmed, for example, it’s a sign that you have some kind of negative expectation about this situation.
2. What would I like to have happened instead?
This question helps you identify what you really want. It’s not uncommon that what you want is the opposite of what you’re expecting. For example, you may want your big presentation to go so well and inspire action but instead you might be expecting it to be just another two-hour session of corporate bullshit.
3. What do I need to do to make what I want happen?
It’s easy to see how things could go wrong. But we shouldn’t stop there. We should face those fears with curiosity and courage. Try to think backwards: what is the root cause of these imagined disastrous scenarios? What action could I have done to mitigate it? If there’s someone else involved in that action, how can I get them on my side, circumvent them or replace them altogether? Your assessment of the situation improves when you see a clear course of action laid out in front of you. And every successful action you take towards it, brightens your expectations of that situation.
This goes to our expectations of ourselves, of others and of the whole world. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey said:
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.
Now treat yourself this way.
This article, and particularly the three questions to change one’s expectations, are based on and inspired by Dr. Jennice Vilhauer’s TED talk. All credits go to her. I strongly recommend watching the talk; it’s only 13 minutes long and it’s very powerful and insightful.
What You Expect
I’m doing an event this weekend in Boras, Sweden. Walking around town beforehand, I met a couple who came from Iceland to attend. Because they’re new on the success journey and money is tight, they took a budget flight to Oslo, then rode two buses all day to get here. They were brimming with excitement and couldn’t wait to learn how to become more successful.
There are more than 1,000 people here, great energy, and they’re passionate about success. Like many of the events I do around the world, some people see me as a saint, sage, or savior. Or I can read the comments on my YouTube channel and find others who think I’m a charlatan, chump, or arrogant jerk.
They all are. Because they’ll receive what they come prepared to receive. And that’s true for every speaker you hear, book you read, or CD you listen to. Come looking for wisdom and you’ll find it. Expect to receive nothing and that’s likely what you’ll get.
The default setting you approach life with determines what you’ll receive. So what are you expecting?
39 comments on “What You Expect”
If your cup is already full, how can you receive?
Glad you’re having a good time over there. I definitely plan to visit that area.
Thank you for all you do.
Yes I discovered Avram through Empire Avenue.
Randy,
Timely as usual! I come to every life event with my eyes and heart open and excited, with my «pilots wings» pinned on and expecting miracles.
Unfortunately, it is as you say with some. I invited the son of a good friend (Brandon) to our opportunity meeting the other night, hoping to introduce him to my 34 yr old friend who is an accomplished business person and millionaire. I thought if I brought them together, that Brandon would see the value and possibly, take advantage of the mentoring that was offered. Brandon brought with him an attitude of disbelief and outright hostility. It did not ruin MY night but I was sad that he chose to wallow in limiting, dis-empowering beliefs and to knock the hand of opportunity away. I was glad to find out from the start, what his mindset is and not waste one precious minute of my valuable time trying to convince him (thanks to you!)
Keep being the sage and mentor. we’re following.. and we will have a moment of silence for all the idiots out there. 🙂
I’m jealoous.. Scandinavia is my favorite place to be. Eat, drink and be merry for me too.
I am expecting greatness, thank you as always Randy!!
That is so true. Perception is EVERYTHING.
«Seek and you shall find»
R, I have thought of you as all of the above at one time or another. However, I keep listening to you and follow when I
Think you’re on the right track. Today I’m with you
100%.
I have to agree with you. I didn’t feel that you were arrogant, but I know that when you tell some people the truth and they don’t like it they can think you are a jerk.
I expect to learn something and also learn something about me upon reflecting.
Hi Randy
This is a great post. Funny because I was thinking of this very concept last night. we get what we are looking for. Amazing how it works, but in my experience it is so true. Though inexplicable, our thoughts and feelings really affect our outside experience. Though I have had this realization for years, the amazement still hits hard each time it happens in a really obvious way.
I think I read it in Bob Proctor’s notes somewhere and its the BEST metoaphor to explain what you are saying-
A Cat waiting outside a rat hole all set to pounce without a nano-second’s notice. She is expecting the mouse to come out, even though there is no way that she knows that for sure.
Of course I made some of it in my words but I hope you get the gist. We have to be absolutely ready- ‘expecting’ for what we desire. ready to pounce/ready to receive knowing full sure the rat is on its way out.
I ask thee, is there an alternative. rat walks out and you’re not ready and he simply flees.Easy for him.
Money comes to us and we are not ready/expecting and it passes us by!
You are our benefactor with so many beneficiaries around the world! Vielen Dank!
Power point here.
Expectation precedes reality. You get what you tune in to. You expect, and get. Simple process. The power of your expectation is quite infinite.
Your experiences precede what you expect to experience. Here’s the fun part: you choose what to expect, by choosing your thoughts and feelings concerning any individual, or event. People who think you’re a rick jerk, will get the rich jerk. People who think you’re a phenomenal, caring, prospering mentor, get the phenomenal, rich prospering mentor.
I fall in the 2nd camp. I was speaking to my girlfriend Kelli (see Kelli Cooper, above in comments) about how I discovered you earlier today. I was listening to a Joe Vitale program, I believe, and of course was expecting awesome things out of it. So I was naturally introduced to you, and between the both of you, along with some life-shattering insights from Bob Proctor, I gradually made the shift was a skeptic to a high energy, prospering entrepreneur.
Now I expect good things and good people to move into my life on a continual basis, and I get it. It happens. I know expectation precedes reality.
Thank you, just what I needed to hear today. You are awesome!
What a great article Randy! That is so true that people get what they expect. Love it :)))
Randy,You’re certainly not a charlatan.I’ve spotted many on them on-line recently and you’re definitely the real deal.Best wishes and more prosperity to you and yours.
Hey Randy,
You are exactly right. How we are perceived by others has nothing to do with who we really are and it says a lot more about the person doing the perceiving.
I keep myself open to the possibilities in life and that is my default setting.
Randy, I do believe often times our expectations colors our perspectives. However, I think there is really good solution that you haven’t mentioned.
HOW ABOUT KEEPING AN OPEN MIND? FREEING YOURSELF FROM EXPECTATIONS ALLOWS, THE TRUTH TO SURFACE.
A. If someone views you as a JERK or a SAINT, they are wrong on both points. WHY?
B. People are people. BOTH of those views ie: SAINT or JERK carry with it an emotional reaction, which PREVENTS CRITICAL THINKING.
SO COME WITH AN OPEN MIND AND YOU WILL FIND THE TRUTH. THEN YOU CAN TAKE THE GOLDEN NUGGETS OF WISDOM, AND LEAVE THE CRAP BEHIND.
PS After viewing you, Randy as all those things good and bad, I now can stand back and see the truth. And as I have heard Nina Simone sing «I’m just a soul whose intentions are good, oh lord please don’t let me be misunderstood», it applies here. I do think you are a soul whose intentions are good, and oh lord how I misunderstood.
However, I still don’t agree with all of your theories. 😉
I also think there are pieces of the puzzle you are missing, but I believe you will figure it out. Me too, I will get those pieces eventually.
And what you expect is your feeling, not what you say. You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you are. If you are fearful and resistant, that’s what you will create. You can say you expect money and success, however, if it is coming from a place of fear, it won’t happen.
I’m not exactly sure who said this to me years ago, but the essence is pure. «How you view Life is how it will show up». And with this comes the expectation with how you view it also.
Personally I view Life as an opportunity to grow and learn and to receive the Blessings and Abundance of the Universe now. And whether reading for recreation or growth, there’s always some little pearl that comes through that just may create that ‘Aha’ moment. I’m embracing the possibility for that now.
So thanks Randy. Reminding us that what we expect in Life is what we’ll get is terrific. And even if we don’t get EXACTLY what we expect, we must also understand that it’s highly likely that we’ll receive something even better as long as we maintain our Faith and monitor our thoughts carefully!
Thank you for a great inspiration this weekend. And its true your mind is what sets the tone for your results. Belive in yourself and belive in your team and you will get prosperity.
hi Randy. Thanks very much for an inspiring two days with Zinzino in Borås. Another way of practising the law of attraction! You get what you ask for right?
I enjoyed your speeches very much and I look forward to following you here and in future places and events.
Great style and wisdom, and a great sense of humour. You made my day(s):-) Thanks.
All the best. Malene
Hi Randy!
Thank you so much for this weekend in Borås. You are the most amazing speaker and you really made me understand that I’m not crazy to believe in my biggest dreams!
So true you can learn from anyone. I learned about the power of influence and anchors from watching video’s of Hitler!! Question are the protestors Victims?
I’ve been amazed how much you’ve changed over the 10 years I’ve watched you.
I love you precious soul! Mwah!
Great meeting you Randy in Borås city! We were so supprised that one of the first people we met happened to be You!
We had been watching clips of you online and were really looking forward to hear you speak.
Our trip from Jakobstad, Finland, was so worth it and we are really looking forward to learn more from you (and your gift will certainly help us a lot).
We hope to see you soon!
Several years ago I read a comment along these lines: «Confidence is interpreted as arrogance by those who are perpetually unsure.»
I think arrogance is confidence that oneself is more important than other human beings.
So Randy, you are confident, not arrogant.
Keep it up
Priit from Tartu
Yes, you have right Randy.
It is about expectations. I expected a lot of failures (in love, material things, job, my dreams. ) so I got them. I think that it reflects our self-esteem and self-love. Because, if I expect someone to not mean anything for, so it does. First thing to do, is feel self-esteem and worthy. And all these blogs, videos, books, are about. So now is my choice to decide, and I decided.
M.
I dont think Ive seen all the angles of this topic the way youve pointed them out. Youre a true star, a rock star man. Youve got so considerably to say and know so considerably about the subject that I think you need to just teach a class about it