What makes you feel happy

Be Happy

Liz Waid and Adam Navis look at what makes people happy. What makes you happy?

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Welcome to Spotlight. I’m Liz Waid.

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And I’m Adam Navis. Spotlight uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.

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What is happiness? Are you happy? What makes you happy? For thousands of years people all over the world have discussed these questions and expressed different opinions. We begin today’s programme with some of their thoughts.

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Aristotle was a great thinker who lived in Greece over 2,000 years ago. He said,

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‘Happiness depends on ourselves.’

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Thucydides also lived in Greece at about the same time. He was a military man who studied history. He said,

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‘The secret of happiness is freedom. And the secret of freedom is courage.

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William Gladstone was the prime minister of the United Kingdom in the 19th century. He said,

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‘Be happy with what you have and are. Be open-handed with both, and you will not have to hunt for happiness.’

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Charles Spurgeon also lived in the United Kingdom at about the same time. He was a religious speaker. And he said,

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‘It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.’

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Today’s Spotlight is on happiness.

Photo by Huyen Nguyen

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People all around the world think that happiness is important. In 2012 the United Nations even passed a resolution about happiness. All 193 member states agreed to the resolution. They recognised happiness as a global human goal. And they decided to make the 20th of March the International Day of Happiness.

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On the 20th of March 2015 the Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon, wrote a special message. In it he said,

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‘I wish everyone around the world a very happy International Day of Happiness! The search for happiness is a serious business. Happiness for the whole human family is one of the main goals of the United Nations. Peace, plenty, lives of respect for all – this is what we seek. We want all men, women and children to enjoy all their human rights. We want all countries to know the joy of peace. We want both people and planet to be blessed with lasting development, and to be free of the terrible effects of climate change. Let us give thanks for what makes us happy. And let us give our efforts to filling our world with happiness.’

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But what makes people happy? Many people think that happiness depends on being rich and beautiful. But scientists and experts have studied happiness. They know this is not correct. Good and bad things happen to everyone. Many scientists and experts believe that happiness is something we can choose. They believe that happiness is not always about what happens to you. They believe that much happiness is about how you choose to react. You can choose to react to events in your life in a positive way. Dr. Amit Sood is an expert at the Mayo Clinic in the United States. He said,

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‘Happiness is a habit or custom. Some of us are born happy. But most others have to choose it. We often, however, do not understand we have that choice. We also do not know how to exercise that choice. As a result we push happiness away. Do not let that not happen to you.’

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So how can we choose to be happy? What do we need to do? Experts have a lot of different advice. But they agree that gratitude or being thankful is very important. You will learn to be happy or happier by being thankful.

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Dr Robert Emmons is a leading expert on gratitude. He suggests many ways to become more thankful. One method he suggests is keeping a gratitude journal or book. Every day, write down things for which you are thankful. These things may be about you, events or people. He also suggests that you use the language of thankful people. You can use words like gifts, givers, blessings, blessed.

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What things are people most grateful for? BUPA is a health organisation in the United Kingdom. BUPA did some research about the things that make people feel happy. They found that many small and simple things make people feel good. For example, sleeping in a clean, fresh bed. Another example: many people enjoy feeling the sun on their faces. Other people feel good when someone is kind to them. Other people like laughing so hard it hurts or smelling freshly made bread.

Photo by Frank Busch

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Some people find that music makes them feel happy. Pharrell Williams writes and performs music. He said that that music brought him happiness. He even wrote a song called ‘Happy’.

[excerpt of the song “Happy”]

It is a very joyful song. People around the world have enjoyed watching it. They have watched the song more than 750 million times on YouTube. And many people have even made their own versions of it. Williams told the BBC why he wrote the song.

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‘The purpose of the song was to make everyone remember that you have a basic freedom to find happiness.’

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Even the United Nations knows that music can make people happy. And in 2015 the United Nations celebrated the International Day of Happiness with music. The Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon, asked people all over the world to share a song that makes them happy.

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Many famous people shared songs that represented happiness and made them smile. They helped to create the world’s happiest playlist. The actor Michael Douglas chose the song ‘Zip a Dee Doo Dah’. The singer James Blunt chose the song ‘We are Young’.

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Pharrell Williams attended the United Nations event that launched the playlist. He told everyone that protecting our planet is necessary for human happiness. He also urged everyone to find out what makes them happy,

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‘It can be something as detailed as a long term goal. Or it could be something as simple as the way I feel when my son smiles. You should know that happiness is your right. It is a reaction to something, or someone, or a time.’

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Are you happy? What makes you happy? What are you thankful for? Does a particular song make you happy? Tell us about it. You can leave a comment on our website. You can also comment on Facebook at facebook.com/spotlightradio. Be happy!

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The writer of this programme was Katy Blake. The producer was Michio Ozaki. The voices you heard were from the United Kingdom and the United States. All quotes were adapted for this programme and voiced by Spotlight. You can listen to this programme again, and read it, on the internet at www.radioenglish.net. This programme is called, ‘Be Happy’.

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We hope you can join us again for the next Spotlight program. Goodbye.

Question:

What is one thing that makes you happy? Is it a simple thing or a complex thing? Write your answer in the comments below.

What Makes Me Happy!

What Makes Me Happy!

During my Philosophy courses, I have explored what some of the greatest thinkers—Aristotle, Rand, Plato, Kant, Bentham, and Mill—have added to the conversation on happiness. Happiness was a much-debated topic but now it is forever being discussed that it has become quite commonplace.

Eudaimonia is a Greek word that means happiness, but perhaps better describes as well-being or good life. Aristotle believed that eudaimonia was reached through virtue. He recognized health, wealth, and beauty as important external factors needed for happiness. In stark contrast, the Stoics philosophers believed virtue alone was enough for eudaimonia.

What is happiness?

Happiness is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction and is usually experienced when there are no worries or fear. Happiness varies and is different for each individual. It is inside where happiness dwells. Happiness can be extracted from the simplest and most common pleasures in life. One can find happiness when he or she opens their heart to people.

There are basic ingredients for happiness. Following are ingredients that make me happy.

Sunsets

A glorious sunset is the epitome of fleeting beauty. For a few minutes, the sky is a spectacle of color—and then it’s over. Yet the psychological effects of admiring the sunset persist long after the color has faded. For me, when I feel connected with nature I am happier and have more positive emotions.

There are places in the world where people stop for the sunset and to say thanks for the gift of having another day or having seen a spectacular sunset. Santorini is one of the best places on earth as far as sunset viewing is concerned. In fact, few places can match the sheer beauty of Santorini’s sunset views with its cliff towns and amazing ocean views.

Nature

One of my simplest pleasures includes spending time outdoors hiking or walking in the park and exploring nature. Spending time in nature is an essential part of maintaining balance for me. I get an energy boost by taking in the sights and smells of the trees and flowers or being at the beach or in the mountains. I feel a real connection to nature that gives me the solitude and peace I need whenever life gets to be too hectic.

Music

Music expresses emotion, uplifts and inspires, touches the heart, and soothes our very soul. As Confucius once said, “Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.” Music is a lifetime passion that has been my ally in life. I hope I will never go without it. It creates a mood that sometimes I can get lost in.

Volunteer/Help Others

Research has shown that volunteering has enormous benefits and can often make us happier. It’s no secret that altruism can help us feel healthier and happier. Giving back enables us to grow in unexpected ways. We’re happier when we’re learning something new, teaching someone else, making something better, or fixing something.

Useful

“Nothing in this world is useless in the eyes of God. Not a leaf from a tree falls, not a hair from your head, not even an insect dies because it was of no use. Everything has a reason to exist.” – Paulo Coelho

Most people like to feel useful, that they can contribute and help others. It provides them with a sense of purpose and of belonging, which are key elements for happiness. Our first acts of usefulness are usually close to home—calling your parents, not for a special occasion but just to say, “Hi. I love you,” or visiting with a sick neighbor.

Random acts of kindness have the potential to positively impact others. This all takes a leap of faith because you will never know how far the ripples of kindness spreads, but you will feel better about yourself. My most cherished friend often tells me stories where he will buy a complete stranger a cup of coffee or will pay for their train ticket paying forward for another.

Ice Cream or Cherry Snowballs

For me, ice cream or cherry snowballs are life’s simple little pleasures that not only makes me feel better, but these sweet confections have the power to make me feel happy. Life is sweet so dig in!

Smiles

Smiling is the best way to make your own day and spread happiness around to others. Smiling is contagious. Your smile is a powerful tool because it can transform us. It can make us more attractive and lift our mood. Smiles spread. When we smile at someone, we receive one back.

Charles Darwin, the father of the theory of evolution, also explained the theory of “facial feedback response.” It’s simple—our facial expressions contribute to how we feel. We smile when we feel good, but we also feel good when we smile. Think of something good in your life, smile, and see what happens!

Laughter

When enjoying the company of a friend, I laugh hard and feel every moment of the conversation. I enjoy listening to others and when it’s my turn, I talk vigorously and with animation. Laughter really is the best medicine. Like smiling, laughter is contagious. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. It boosts your energy and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.

Prayer

Spirituality and religious involvement are linked with greater well-being and happiness, according to studies on the connection between spirituality and health, while prayer is thought to relieve stress.

Play with a Puppy

Anyone who lives with a cat or dog will tell you the immediate joys that come with sharing their lives with their furry friends. Petting an animal is associated with pleasure and happiness and pet ownership has been linked with increased well-being.

I remember when I was young taking a nap was considered a punishment. Now being able to take a catnap during the afternoon seems like a luxury. Sleep deprivation can up your stress levels. What’s more, researchers have linked catnaps with improved mood, alertness, and productivity.

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” –Marianne Williamson

One of the greatest gifts is forgiving. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. And ask to be forgiven. Few people realize the impact the ability to forgive can have on their happiness. Forgiving people tend to be happier, healthier, and more empathetic.

Forgiving is hard because it takes courage and resolves to let go of negative feelings when we’ve been wronged. Fortunately, it gets easier with practice.

Happiness Quotes To Feel Good & Smile

Want to feel good?

Ready to put a big smile on your face?

Here are a list of the best positive inspirational & motivational quotes about being happy with life, yourself, & someone you love that will brighten your day.

Whether you have been feeling down or depressed and need a pick me up, or if you want to make someone happy, these phrases and sayings will provide you words of encouragement and remind you…

SHORT HAPPY QUOTES

It’s a good day to be happy.

Start each day with a grateful heart.

A smile is the beauty of the soul. – Lailah Gifty

Happiness is a habit – cultivate it. – Elbert Hubbard

Happiness is a journey … not a destination. – Ben Sweetland

You will be exactly as happy as you decide to be.

Whoever is happy will make others happy too. – Anne Frank

Don’t let the silly little things steal your happiness.

What ever you decide to do today, make sure it makes you happy.

Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.

BEING HAPPY QUOTES

Be you. Do you. For you. – Unknown

The purpose of our lives is to be happy. – Dalai Lama

Whatever is good for your soul…do that. – Unknown

Being happy is the greatest form of success.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness. – Unknown

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things. – Albert Einstein

He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. – Marcus Aurelius

The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters. – Audrey Hepburn

The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of everyday. – Unknown

HAPPY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. – Dalai Lama

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. – Janet Lane

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher. – Oprah

Be so happy that when others look at you they become happy too.

Good people are like candles; they burn themselves up to give others light.

Happy people don’t have the best of everything they make the best of everything.

Smiling doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy. Sometimes it just means you’re strong.

The best feeling of happiness is when you’re happy because you’ve made somebody else happy.

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. – Mother Teresa

QUOTES ABOUT HAPPINESS & LOVE

Today, I welcome love into my life. – Unknown

To love another person is to see the face of God. – Victor Huge

Whatever happens, just keep smiling and lose yourself in love. – Rumi

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. – George Sand

The happiness you feel is in direct proportion with the love you give. – Oprah

I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes. – Unknown

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. – Roy Croft

Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. – Mother Teresa

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. – Robert A. Heinlein

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. – Rumi

CUTE HAPPY QUOTES

Happiness is a warm puppy. ― Charles M. Schulz

Smile, and let the world wonder why. – Minnie Mouse

Be happy. It really annoys negative people. – Ricky Gervais

Happiness is free sprinkle that stuff everywhere.

Everywhere you go, take a smile with you. – Sasha Azevedo

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. – Lady Blessington

A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose. – Tom Wilson

Open your eyes and notice the beauty of this wonderful world.

When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land I nearly fell off my unicorn.

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy ice cream. And that’s kind of the same thing.

Happiness is like jam. You can’t spread even a little without getting some on yourself.

Everyone wants happiness. No one wants pain. But you can’t have a rainbow, without a little rain.

TRUE HAPPINESS QUOTES

When you love what you have, you have everything you need.

Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.

Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. – Charles Spurgeon

The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of everyday.

I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy. – Will Arnett

You can’t change how people feel about you, so don’t try. Just live your life and be happy.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery when they have made a wrong turn.

Be happy not because everything is good, but because you can see the good side of everything.

A secret to happiness is letting every situatiuon be what it is instead of what you think it should be.

Happy are those who take life day by day, complain very little, and are thankful for the little things in life.

Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it. – William Feather

Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and enjoying it for everything that it is. – Mandy Hale

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness – money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

Be with people who know your worth. You don’t need too many people to be happy, just a few real ones who appreciates you for who you are.

They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. – Tom Bodett

Stay positive and happy. Work hard and don’t give up hope. Be open to criticism and keep learning. Surround yourself with happy, warm and genuine people. – Tena Desae

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. – John Lennon

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY QUOTES

Life is short, and it is up to you to make it sweet. – Sarah Louise Delany

Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. – Steve Jobs

Be what you are because you were not born to impress someone.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. – Steve Jobs

If you don’t love what you do, you won’t do it with much conviction or passion. – Mia Hamm

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. – Les Brown

Do more of what lights you up and makes you feel alive. The world needs your spark.

Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile.

It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live. – Mae Jemison

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don’t let others make you forget that.

QUOTES ABOUT BEING HAPPY AGAIN

Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive….learn to let it go.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. – Mahatma Gandhi

Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness. ― Steve Maraboli

One of the simplest ways to be happy is letting go of the things that make you sad.

People who make you feel better about yourself when you’re sad are so important.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.

Be crazy. Be stupid. Be silly. Be weird. Be whatever. Because life is too short to be anything but happy.

The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.

Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one door closes, run to the next window – or break down a door. – Brooke Shields

Don’t allow yourself to be a victim. Take control of your life. Let go of people who serve you no good.
Start doing things to make you happy. – Reyna Biddy

No one is in control of your happiness, but you … therefore you have the power … to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. – Barbara De Angelis

Remind yourself every day: I am in charge of my happiness. I will not let anything outside of myself control me. I am creating a life that feels good on the inside and it will turn into experiences that are good on the outside.

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. – Ralph Harslon

QUOTES ABOUT BEING HAPPY WITH YOURSELF

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live for yourself and don’t ever stop. – John Tew

Remember the entrance to the sanctuary is inside you. – Rumi

Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. – Lilly Singh

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. – Robert Morley

The first place where self-esteem begins its journey is within us. ― Stephen Richards

It only takes one person to make you happy and change your life: YOU. – Charles Orlando

What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you. – Unknown

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection – Buddha

It’s important to feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, nothing negative can touch you.

Be happy, be yourself, and if others don’t like it, let them be. Your happiness is a choice. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody, so do you.

No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, and become a better version of yourself. ― Madonna

No one is in control of your happiness, but you … therefore you have the power … to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. – Barbara De Angelis

Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. – Mark Victor Hansen

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. – Norman Vincent Peale

Inner Peace…. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. – Unknown

You are amazing, unique and beautiful. There is nothing more you need to be, do or have in order to be happy. You are perfect just as you are. Yes, really. So smile, give love and enjoy every moment of this precious life.

You are loved.
You have purpose.
You are a masterpiece.
You are wonderfully made.
God has a great plan for you.
― Germany Kent

QUOTES ABOUT BEING HAPPY WITH SOMEONE

Happiness is only real when shared. – John Krakaur

You are somebody’s reason to smile. – Unknown

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis.

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. – Maya Angelou

It feels good when you can put a smile on someone’s face by simply being yourself.

Happiness is holding someone in your arms and knowing you hold the whole world. ― Orhan Pamuk

Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile. – Unknown

Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust

You can tell if that person is special if no matter what kind of mode you are in, that person can always manage to make you smile. – Unknown

HAPPINESS SAYINGS

The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage. – Thucydides

I am happy because I choose to be happy no matter what the situation is. – Unknown

One of the best ways of being happy with life is to make someone happy. – Unknown

Some people ask me ‘How to be happy’ and my answer is always the same: just be happy! – Unknown

Don’t depend on someone making you happy because you never know what might happen. If you truly want to keep it, you must choose to be happy on your own. – Unknown

Rules for happy living…

1. Count your blessings, not your troubles.
2. Live one day at a time.
3. Say “I love you”.
4. Be a giver, not a taker.
5. Seek for good in everyone and everything.
6. Pray everyday.
7. Do at least one good deed a day.
8. Learn to count (keep priorities in line).
9. Let no little and/or imaginary things bother you.
10. Practice a “do it now” habit.
11. Fill your life with good.
12. Learn to laugh and to cry.
13. Smile and the world will smile with you.
14. Fear nothing or no one.
15. Let go and let God take over.

You are responsible for your happiness. In fact, you create it. You attract it. You manifest it. You are the architect of your reality. You choose your thoughts, your perceptions, and your reaction to external forces. You possess all of the tools needed to expand your awareness, to orchestrate the evolution of your consciousness, to choose happiness, to choose love. You are that powerful. Create the life you deserve. Vibrate love.

Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored. – Earl Nightingale

I always feel happy, you know why? Because I don’t expect anything from anyone, expectations always hurt.. life is short, so love your life, be happy.. and keep smiling. Just live for yourself and before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you pray, forgive. Before you hurt, feel. Before you hate, love. Before you quit, try. Before you die, live. – Shakespeare

Habits of happy people:

1. Ignore nonsense
2. Talk less
3. Learn new skills
4. Help less fortunate
5. Laugh
6. Wake up early
7. No entitlement

Want more quotes?

Check these out…

Want some positive words to feel more happy?

What Makes You Happy?

This afternoon, a man on a bike cycled past me.

He had headphones jammed in his ears and was singing along to music which was only faintly audible: the song was one I didn’t recognise, but the big smile on his face spoke for itself.

‘How nice – that man is really happy!’ I thought. And then I stopped, and reconsidered my reaction.

That man was happy. Happier than me, perhaps. Certainly happier than many other people around the world. It was an unbelievably lovely thing to realise: without knowing the context or the cause, I’d spotted a total stranger being happy.

The changing states of happiness

When I was younger, a seemingly indefinite number of things made me happy. The promise of secret worlds hidden behind cobweb-covered doors and high brick walls; the way my cat rubbed his little head against mine when he clambered onto my bed; staying up late enough at sleepovers with my friends to warrant my mum bringing us a midnight feast.

Yet happiness can and does change over time – and writing a memoir, funnily enough, will cause a large amount of retrospection. Over the last few months I’ve looked back critically over different elements of my life to see that I’ve actually wrestled for a long time with being happy. More specifically, with maintaining that happiness once I felt I had hold of it.

As a teenager, moments of happy contentment were immediately leapt at by a mind looking for holes. Were there difficult exams coming up? Did I have a strange sickness or symptom that hadn’t gone away? If I couldn’t find a worry-worthy problem straight away, I ended up settling for the distant concern that someone I loved would die: causing a numbness far back in my chest which would always sit there.

Nowadays my happiness tastes different. Adult life is weighted down, and there’s more room for embarrassment or shame to crease and fade the positives. Happiness becomes something we consciously cultivate when we don’t have quite enough of it.

Now, I feel happy when the caffeine from fresh brewed Italian coffee floods my veins and I feel the beginnings of a really good story form in my mind; when I find an outfit to always feel beautiful in, no matter what my mood is; when I finally feel strong in one of many yoga classes I force my body into.

And then there’s travel. Almost a decade has passed since I first travelled solo, and in that time I’ve faced up to hundreds of internal and external challenges which have shaped me into the person I am now.

But am I actually happy?

It’s a question I’ve thought about a great deal recently. I always used to think that travel was my safety net: it gives me a thrill and a rush like nothing else, and has been the outlet I turn to whenever I need something. A change in living pace; the temptation of unknown horizons; the chance to meet new people and grow another facet of myself. Again and again and again.

Happiness also seems to occur more naturally when you’re travelling. Outside of normal life’s mundanity, everything shines: there are long train journeys with a window seat, or delicate silver jewellery on a market stall table which you buy on impulse, or a sudden group of perfect friends in a backstreet hostel.

The concern is wondering what elements of normal life you might be giving up at travelling’s expense.

I’ve spent the last two years assuming that once my masters degree was finished I’d immediately be on a one way flight to Guatemala, or Bhutan, or Mongolia. I hadn’t expected to feel unsure. Not about long term travel. Not about the one constant I’ve had in my life for the last eight years.

Writing a book has alerted me to a lot about myself, and one of the most pertinent factors is that since my mum died in 2009, I’ve always been on the run. Whether it’s running away from my problems or running into them doesn’t really matter: the fact is, I haven’t really stopped to take stock of what, where and who I am.

It’s resulted in me feeling just a little bit lost.

Surprise! I’m staying in London (for now, at least)

Two years of being back in my home city and you’d think I would feel settled here, right? Strangely enough, there’s always a feeling of impermanence which shadows my London life – but then again, that feeling has been with me in most other countries too.

It’s a by-product of constantly being on the move, and it’s somewhat debilitating. London might not feel completely like my home but all the trappings are absolutely there. It’s the city where I grew up; where my dad lives; where most of my closest friends are. Currently I’m renting a gorgeous apartment with two wonderful housemates in a part of the city which I adore.

The idea of giving all those factors up, just for the potential of finding something great at the other end of the world, simply doesn’t make sense.

Long term solo travel means so much to me, and it probably always will. But it’s a sobering realisation to know that – for now, at least – it might not be the right choice. Instead, there are some other aspects of life which are already making me happy, and which I think deserve more of my undivided attention.

One: publishing my book

Now my masters is officially over, I have the second draft of my very first book manuscript clutched to my chest – all 96,000 words of it. The writing process has been a whirlwind of highs and lows but I never really imagined what might happen afterwards: working on a fresh round of edits; crafting a book proposal; researching possible literary agents and making contact.

Yet that’s the stage I’m at, and while it’s a wonderfully exhilarating place to be, it also requires a fair amount of dedication. I feel like this memoir is where the past eight years of writing have been leading (not to mention the years of experiences which are documented within it!) and I want to give it the attention it deserves.

Two: developing my freelance writing

Spring-boarding my writing career into the field of paid work has developed organically, but because of the aforementioned masters programme, I haven’t allowed myself the chance to really work on making my name as a freelance writer. Apart from the occasional article for other publications, my work has been confined to this site.

Flipping through the piles of notebooks scattered around my house I can see story ideas on every page, many of which aren’t destined for a travel blog. Successfully pitching articles is something I’m really excited to do, and to see if I can actually make a living from. A pipe-dream, perhaps, but one I’d love to succeed in.

(With that in mind, please get in touch if you’d like to discuss any freelance writing projects with me!)

Three: working on my self care

Probably the most important factor is something I’ve woefully ignored for the longest time. Way back in 2009, I went to approximately three therapy sessions after my mum’s death, and then decided I didn’t need help. Apart from a number of self-prescribed alternative therapies (ayahuasca, San Pedro and an old Russian healer woman in the Himalayas, to name a few) I really haven’t dealt with a compounded eight years of grief.

As you might imagine, that’s taken somewhat of a toll.

There have been bouts of anxiety, flirtations with depression and an all round lack of happiness: things which I hadn’t even realised were weighing me down until a few months ago.

I miss the person I used to be. I want to get her back again. So that means actively taking care of myself, from yoga, cycling, going for walks (and maybe doing the Camino again), to reconnecting with the positives in my life.

Getting back in touch with my body and loving myself is a priority I know I should make space for, and I think staying put in one place for a while longer is the right way to do it.

So what really makes me happy?

As the singing cyclist vanished down an East London street, my mind flitted through moments of positivity and happiness, each one stored carefully in my mind for when I’ve needed them. The true times which make me happy: like when Spanish falls effortlessly from my mouth and the words make sense; or the delicious jolt in my stomach when a man I like gives me the idea he likes me back.

There are inconsequential ones, too. Feeling the crisp coolness in the air which means autumn’s coming. Pizza and dark chocolate. Peanut butter, in all forms. Accidentally dropping off into a really satisfying nap. The heavy, swollen clouds in the sky which indicate a thunderstorm.

Most of these things are so tiny. Yet added up together, they’re huge.

I like to think that humans are indomitably happy. We strive for it with everything we do – even amongst all the wars, terror and fear that so much of the world now lives under the influence of. No matter who or where you are, if you’re not feeling happy the immediate wish is to be happy again.

Recognising the fact that I’m not truly happy at the moment has actually given me a sense of peace. The world will never be completely right: as an adult, I understand that now. But I can find solace in each occasion that is positive, and can be more thankful for every moment that I inadvertently feel happy – or see that happiness in someone else.

What’s next? No more travelling?

For the first time in a decade, the desire to jet off to an unexplored country for an indefinite amount of time isn’t the top of my list. And honestly, it’s a relief.

That’s not to say I won’t be travelling. In October I’m going to Italy with a few friends, and there’ll be plenty of little adventures on the horizon. But I feel rather proud to know I don’t need to prove anything about my capabilities or desire to travel. For now, working on myself and my happiness takes precedence.

And maybe the next time I head out on a long term adventure, it’ll be with complete happiness from the start.

How to Make Yourself Happy

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

Leo Patrizi / Getty Images

How can you make yourself happy? This question lies at the heart of many goals that people pursue. Happiness, often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction, can indeed be cultivated in several ways. In addition to adding happiness-inducing elements to your lifestyle, you can also work on your habitual thought patterns to foster a more optimistic outlook.

In order to make yourself happy, you should explore the current state of your life, assess your level of happiness, and find a direction to work toward that will likely bring greater joy and contentment. Keep in mind, however, that happiness means different things to different people.

Identify What Makes You Happy

The first step to making yourself happy is to figure out what things in life bring you joy and contentment. This means assessing the things that actually bring you joy and not what societal expectations tell you about joy.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of what you think will make you happy rather than what actually does. People strive for that perfect relationship, the perfect house, the beautiful body, the approval of others, all in an attempt to be happy.

Sometimes these things make us happy; other times, we stress over not having reached our goals, or we reach them and find that we’re still not happy. Other times, we focus so intensely on one goal that’s thought to bring happiness that we don’t have time for other things in our life that will make us truly happy.

Factors That Boost Happiness

Positive psychology experts—those who study human happiness and the factors that contribute to it—have identified several key areas of life that seem to be more related to personal happiness. Some factors include:

Being dissatisfied with some of these areas is not necessarily a recipe for unhappiness and being satisfied in most of these areas is no guarantee for a life of bliss. However, if you’re more satisfied with these areas of your life, you tend to be happier in general.

Focusing on some of these key areas may help increase your levels of happiness in your daily life. Look for ways that you can make changes, even if they are just small changes at first, that will help you feel more content. Making healthy choices, getting involved in things you are passionate about, and developing a strong social support network may help.

How Your Attitude Affects Happiness

Lifestyle, however, is only part of the happiness equation. Your attitude about life and the things that happen to you each day can also greatly impact your overall level of happiness and life satisfaction.

It’s probably no secret that optimists tend to be happier people, but you may not realize that there’s more to optimism than «putting on a happy face» or «looking on the bright side.» There are specific traits that bring optimists more success, greater health, and increased life satisfaction.

Cultivating the mind of an optimist can not only mean cultivating happiness, regardless of your circumstance, but it can actually bring more things into your life to be happy about.

In addition to optimism, happy people tend to have an internal locus of control. Simply put, they tend to believe that they are the masters of their fate rather than the victims of circumstance.

When you view the stressors of your life as a challenge rather than a threat, you tend to come up with more effective solutions. You also feel more exhilarated (rather than drained) as you tackle these circumstances.

Finding Balance

Many people pursue goals that they expect will make them happy, but happiness isn’t always the end result. We all know people who have put everything they have into their careers—at the expense of their personal lives—only to wonder why they’re successful and still unhappy.

It’s also all too common for people to be surrounded by a beautiful home, expensive cars, designer clothes (and sometimes mounds of debt) and still have less personal satisfaction with life than they had without all the “stuff.” So how can you know which goals will garner personal happiness and which won’t?

In order to make yourself happy, you need to find balance. A good job and financial stability can be important for happiness, but you must also balance those things with other factors that promote happiness including your health, your relationships, and other meaningful pursuits.

There’s no happiness quick fix. It’s a balancing act, so don’t devote the lion’s share of energy to pursuing a single goal to the exclusion of other important lifestyle factors.

As you set your goals, remember all of the areas of life that are important to you. Map out a detailed description of how you would like your whole life to look, or set goals and develop healthy habits for a different area of your life each month.

Work Toward Your Goals

Whether setting goals as New Year’s resolutions or as part of a quest for an improved life, many people sabotage themselves from the beginning by expecting too much and setting themselves up to fail.

For example, many people expect to immediately change their habits out of sheer willpower; any slip-ups are experienced as «failures» and too often contribute to an abandonment of the goal and feelings of defeat.

If you’re trying to make positive changes in your life, it’s important to set yourself up to succeed:

Like everything else, making yourself happier is a process, so give yourself time to make the changes and see the changes.

Daily Happiness Habits

While it is important to pursue long-term solutions to promote your happiness, there are also small things you can do that can make you happier in the present moment. Some of these include:

If you are struggling to find happiness and coping with feelings of low mood, consider talking to your doctor or mental health professional. Feelings of unhappiness may be a symptom of depression. Talking to a professional can help you get the treatment you need to feel better, which may involve psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both.

A Word From Verywell

Finding ways to make yourself happy often starts with small steps that help you work toward long-term goals. So spend some time thinking about the things that will help you feel happy and satisfied in your life and consider some of the ways that you can work toward some of those goals.

Just remember that happiness isn’t a destination. It is a process of creating a life that brings you joy, purpose, and fulfillment. You don’t need to wait to become happy; there are steps you can take each day to feel better and more content.